


The Spring of 1912

by Messrmoonyy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: A hopelessly lovesick Remus lupin, Arranged Marriage, F/M, Muggle AU, Remadora, Sinking Ship, Titanic AU, and a hopelessly love sick Sirius black, blackinnon, both parental and marital, mentions of an abusive relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-17 20:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 38,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28980102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Messrmoonyy/pseuds/Messrmoonyy
Summary: the remadora titanic au that no one asked for
Relationships: Nymphadora Tonks/Charlie Weasley, Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks, sirius black/Marlene McKinnon ( background )
Comments: 34
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So quick notes to start:
> 
> Remus and tonks are aged down, rose is 17 in the movie with jack sitting at 20 I believe? I made Dora 19 and Remus 20 for this. Mainly because I thought marauders era Remus fit jack a little better than say POA/OOTP Remus.
> 
> Now A final point to note is that most the families that are related in the HP books are not related here, for example andromeda was never a black and therefore not related to Sirius.  
> Also Charlie Weasley and Bill Weasley make a lot of appearances here as does molly Weasley. But Molly is a prewett still. And not related to Charlie and Bill (Charlie is the only other suggested love interest to Dora so it made sense to replace Cal with him. But Molly Weasley is also a bloody perfect swap for Molly brown from the movies. So they are not related ) I hope this makes sense. Hopefully it will as you read! Enjoy!

Southampton was bustling with people.

Remus wasn't 100% sure if it was usually a busy town or not, but he was quite certain that It wasn't ever as busy as today. It looked as if half the country had made its way to the city today. Outside the windows of the pub that Remus was currently sat in people were squished together, Squeezing and pushing by each other to try and get down to the dock for a better view of what was happening at 12 sharp.

To see the spectacle that had been talked about for months in the papers, the worlds first unsinkable ocean liner. The grandest ship to ever set sail. The ship of dreams the papers were calling it. And he was quite keen to find out if that was true for himself.

15 minutes.

" I can't believe you bet our tickets " Remus looked away from the window as the swede sat across from him whispered loudly to his friend. It drew Remus' eyes down to the pile of money in the middle of the table, laying on top were said tickets. Tickets to board the Titanic. Tickets to get him and Sirius out of England and away from Sirius' mother for good.

He had helped Sirius escape his mother's home a little over a week ago now. They had made it as far as Southampton but she was constantly on their tail, ready to snatch Sirius back home and put him though more and more years of hell. An arranged marriage with some distant relative, an almost manic obsession with upper class blood, and a life of nothing but pure misery and being beat for the slightest step out of line. He'd tried to run before, but they'd not planned enough and she had caught him only a day later.

So they were doing pretty well compared to last time, it would be soul crushing to fall at this final hurdle. So close to getting away from her for good.

Remus' own home life wasnt particularly wonderful either, but nothing compared to that of Sirius. His father could barely look at him these days, hadn't really been able to ever since his mother Hope had died, leaving Remus motherless at barely 5 years old. So he had been more than happy to leave that behind to help Sirius get away. He was quite certain that Lyall Lupin would be much happier without the constant reminder of Hope around him everyday.

Sirius told him he should be angry at the way his dad had treated him, but really all he felt was pity. Remus had never really understood love, not understood how losing someone you loved could cause a spiral like the one it had sent his father into. He found love quite funny actually and was starting to think he'd never actually find it himself.

He didn't really mind though. He had bigger and better plans than finding love. Sirius on the their hand fell in love with someone new every other week, he'd never understood it.

Remus was momentarily dragged from his daydreaming when he thought he'd caught a glimpse of Walburga Black outside the window. Thankfully it wasn't, this woman's face was far too pleasant looking to be that of Walburgas.

They had spotted his brother, Regulus, loitering around near the dock earlier in the morning so they knew that Walburga wasn't to be too far behind. She was out there somewhere. They had to leave today, they had to. They had originally planned to try and sneak on to a cargo ship heading anywhere that wasn't England or maybe a fishing boat, at least that would give them time to plan at least.

But what had started as a simple poker game was about to change their plans. Maybe. If they won anyway. If not they'd just revert to their earlier plans. They didn't really have much to lose either way. Except winning would secure them a much safer passage out of the country he guessed.

Neither of them knew what they would do when they left the country. Not a single plan at all. Just that they had to get _out._

Sirius was bouncing his leg under the table nervously, probably thinking the same things that Remus was. This was their last chance for a safe and secure exit. One of the Swedish men plucked another card and looked rather defeated. Remus was confident, his own leg bounced under the table but not for nerves. His own hand of cards looking back at him, making him feel as if he was holding gold dust in his hands.

" fuck it.. I'm out. I'm out I've got nothing " Sirius sighed and dropped his cards, rubbing a hand over his face in defeat. He glanced over at Remus with pure fear in his grey eyes. Silently begging Remus to play a winning hand, to get them back their money. And those tickets. To get them out of Southampton, England, for good and safely too.

" me too " the man opposite him tossed his cards down , scattering them over the table. Remus glanced over at the clock behind the bar.

8 minutes.

" Re? " Sirius asked quietly, his fingernails now between his teeth. Remus looked back out the window again, the crowds were growing thicker as more people filtered through to try and watch the ship set sail.

" well? " Remus asked, nodding his head towards the only other player left. The mans face twisted into a smug smile as he placed his cards down on the table.

7 minutes.

" woah... two pairs " his face fell into a look of defeat to match the one Sirius was sporting.

He really was holding gold dust in his hands now.

This was it.

" Remus? "

" Sirius I'm sorry... mate I'm so sorry " he watched as the colour drained from his best friends face, all his dreams of escaping his mother leaving him in one instant.

" Remus. Remus that's all we have how are we meant to g- "

" I'm _sorry_ because there's a hundred girls on that ship over there that are going to have to put up with you for an entire week. We're going to America Sirius! Full house boys! " he jumped to his feet and placed his cards down on the table with a flourish. Sirius looked at him with a mix of disbelief and joy, staring at the cards he had played before diving into his arms.

" we're getting out of here?! Fuck, Remus we're getting away! " Remus scraped up the money and the tickets before anyone could snatch them away from them. He held them in the air before bringing them to his lips and kissing them. _They were getting away._

The two Swedish men were now arguing, berating each other for losing their tickets and Remus stepped back with a small laugh as fists started to fly.

" we're going to America! " Sirius dived into his arms again, laughing with pure glee because they were getting away. They were " we're going to America! "

" no, Titanic is going to America. In 5 minutes! " the barman called over the din of the bar and Remus' eyes darted up to the clock. And they did in fact have 5 minutes before they'd miss their chance.

" come on! " he grabbed his very few belongings and Sirius' arm, dragging him towards the door and into the busy street. He felt he should feel a little bit guilty for taking the two Swedish men's tickets. But he couldn't find it with him himself because he had spent his entire life valuing others above himself. Thinking about his father first, always. But Remus had to value Sirius and himself now. It was time for their futures. It was their time to be selfish and not selfless.

" we're basically royalty now Re! The bloody Titanic?! America?! " Sirius yelled as they pushed through the crowds, earning a dozen glares as they did so but not caring in the slightest.

The crowds were almost unmoving and he could see up ahead they were beginning to prepare to set sail. He elbowed people out of his way, still dragging Sirius behind him, pushing them aside and rushing to the bottom of the ramp leading up to the ship.

" come on! Sirius! Hey wait! " they were just preparing to close the door when the pair of them reached the top " wait! We're passengers! We have tickets, look here! " he thrust the tickets at the steward who took them, looking both Remus and Sirius up and down.

" have you both been through the proper inspection lines? " he asked suspiciously, Remus held his tongue on the fact that he was quite certain first class passengers never would have been asked such a thing.

" course! " the steward didn't seem completely convinced, but someone from inside yelled for him to shut the doors. He looked back down at the tickets and then towards the two of them again and pushed the door fully open.

" come on. Quickly " they jumped the small gap and Remus felt an almost dizzying feel of relief as the door closed. They were safe now. They were going to America, their new futures. Their new starts. He looked around in pure awe at the grandeur of the place, the smell of fresh paint and freshly varnished wood wafting into his nose.

" come on I want to look at the crowds" Sirius said and they both ran for the stairs heading up to the deck as the ship prepared to set off. They found a gap in the railings and looked down at the crowds below them, cheering and waving. There were hundreds of people lining the dock, he felt like a celebrity. Royalty like Sirius had said.

" hey. Sirius. Sirius look " Remus spotted a familiar dark haired boy in the crowds, stood beside the unmistakable Walburga Black. Sirius started laughing, leaning over the railings and waving wildly as Regulus too seemed to notice them. He tugged on his mother's arm and pointed up at where Remus and Sirius were.

" goodbye ma! You old hag! " Sirius yelled, still laughing and waved. He looked quite mad. But Remus found himself laughing too as Walburga seemed to try and argue with one of the stewards down on the dock to let her on. Of course she was denied and regulus simply looked up at his brother, too far away to read his emotions " see you never reggie! " Walburga looked close to shoving the steward into the water when the ships horn bellowed out and the crowds cheered louder. There was some shouts and then with a small shudder they were off, gliding away from the dock, away from Southampton, away from Walburga Black.

She'd never find them now.

They'd never have to see her again.

Remus looked over at Sirius who looked as if he might cry.

" we did it Re. We did " he said quietly, shaking his head in disbelief. 20 minutes ago they had been sat in a bar and mentally planning their way onto a fishing boat. Now they were passengers on the most luxurious ship in the world, heading to America.

" we did mate, we did it "

They stayed waving until the crowds were nothing but tiny specs, their arms aching from waving for so long.

" c'mon. Let's find our room " both boys were in awe of the ship as they made their way around the dozens of corridors down to E deck, following the signs for third class passengers " sticking the commoners down with the rats. So much for royalty aye? " Sirius chuckled and peered at their tickets as they reached E deck.

" E-60 Re. E-60 " Remus marvelled at all the walks of life they passed as they searched for their room. His ears picking up on almost a dozen different accents and languages, single mothers, single fathers, couples. All together with one purpose, to get to America. It was quite heartwarming in a way.

" here we go " Remus pushed open the door to be greeted with two very confused looking men. Clearly friends of the two swedes they had won the tickets from, expecting to see them walk in. Not Remus and Sirius " nice to meet you. Remus lupin. Nice to meet you " Remus cheerily greeted them as Sirius gave them a wave and dived up onto the top bunk " hey who said you get top bunk? "

He sat down on the bed for a moment, shedding his coat. The sheets were a blinding white, crisp, brand new. He wasn't sure he'd ever slept in new sheets, sheets that no one else had ever slept in before.

They didn't stay in the room very long, both too eager to explore their new home for the next week or so. They ended up sat on the deck, Remus having soon realised it was a prime spot for people watching. Which he adored. It gave him a dozen new subjects to draw, all different people of all backgrounds and stories bustling around him. Stories that he would never know but could capture a small moment off with his pencil and paper.

He'd always loved drawing. Sometimes his mind would get away from him, drawing always brought it back. Kept him sane. Calm. He was hoping that was where his future lay in America. Making money from his art. Real money. More than just a few pence a piece.

" I'm going after my future wife actually. Beautiful she is. Beautiful I tell you " Remus looked up from his drawing of a father and daughter as the man Sirius had quickly befriended spoke.

" going after her? "

" her parents shipped off to America last summer. Told her I'd follow her as soon as I got the money too. So here I am. Gonna marry her the second I find her. She's beautiful she is! " Remus smiled and looked back down at his paper. He'd never been in love himself, though he had always found the thought of how seemingly mindless it made people rather amusing " her names Lily. She's got this beautiful red hair, like silk it is. God I tell you she's stunning. She's beautiful "

" yeah mate you mentioned " Sirius chuckled and lit another cigarette, offering one to both Remus and the man who both accepted it.

" James by the way, James potter " he introduced himself, extending a hand to both Remus and Sirius.

" Sirius Black, thats Remus "

" Remus Lupin " he added with a smile and went to turn back to his drawing again, only to spot a woman appear on the first class top deck over James' shoulder.

Remus appreciated beautiful people, he liked drawing beautiful people. He liked to think he had a knack for spotting beauty before other people did. And this woman? She looked like a goddess among men.

She didn't look very happy, her hands clasped in front of her on the railings and a melancholy expression on her face. But Christ she was beautiful. The sun was shining on her like it glowed up there in the sky simply for her, the wind blew simply to keep her hair from her face.

The world spun simply for her.

She clearly came from money, of course she did if she was up in first class, but she looked almost regal. The jewels around her neck probably cost more than Lyall Lupins entire house.

" oi, James is talking to you " Sirius elbowed him in the side and he momentarily broke his gaze to look at James, but his eyes were glued back to her in an instant.

" I said do you make any money with your drawings? " he wasn't really listening again. The woman seemed to have noticed his staring and her eyes darted across to meet his briefly, only briefly.

He had seen many beautiful women in his life, had drawn a fair few of them too. But this woman? She was bringing him to his knees and she hadn't so much as spoken to him.

" earth to Remus? Hello? " Sirius waved his hand in front of his friends face, James followed his eyesight and laughed when he saw who he was watching.

" you'd have to have the likes of angels fly outta your arse to get even close to that one mate. Whole other world up there it is " he still wasn't listening, simply watching as the woman looked back to him again. He did think for a brief moment he might have been freaking her out, a strange man just staring at her, but he was certain he saw a small smile pull at her lips.

He felt like a mere mortal being looked upon by some ungodly otherworldly being, he felt ready to fall at her feet and obey her every command. Which was _ridiculous._ But christ, he'd never laid eyes on someone like her in his life.

She held his gaze for a moment longer. that was until a well dressed man came up beside her and she seemed to startle, not looking either Remus or the man in the eye anymore and she she walked away without so much as a backwards glance.

His hands were instantly pulling out a fresh piece of paper, his pencil etching what he'd saw from memory. He wondered if he spot her again, it was likely. But also not. She was first class. Had an entire section of the ship that Remus wasn't even allowed into.

But one could hope.

" done gawping now? " Sirius asked with a chuckle.

" I appreciate beautiful people " he murmured, his hand unstopping as it darted over his paper.

" debatable, you don't appreciate me " Sirius said and pulled a pose which made James laugh.

" I've drawn you many times "

" not with as much fever as that " he said in a loud whisper and nodded to the page where he was already almost complete with his drawing of the woman.

" piss off "

++++

In what might as well have been a completely different ship, a completely different world even, was Nymphadora Tonks. Whilst the likes of Remus and Sirius were on the Titanic to escape and head for freedom, Nymphadora was doing quite the opposite.

New York didn't hold freedom for her, it held a trapped existence that she was being forced to live out to save her mother from falling into ruin. Her father had died a year ago, leaving Andromeda Tonks in debt up to her eyeballs and therefore Nymphadora too. Nymphadora was young, beautiful and still clinging onto the last remains of notability the Tonks name had before it came out that they really had nothing left.

So as was common practice with the upper classes, she was being married off. Off into money, a better name, a name that would solidify both hers and Andromeda's position in society before it slipped from right between their fingers.

And to Andromeda Tonks, social standing was everything.

She liked having money, of course she did who in their right mind wouldn't, but since getting engaged to a man she barely even knew she was starting to question what she liked more. Money or her free will. Because she knew that the second she said ' I do' any and all free will would be lost. She'd have money, god she'd never be without it, but she'd have no freedom. She'd no longer have... herself.

She was to be married to Charlie Weasley two days after arriving in New York, one of the country's finest eligible bachelors according to her mother. But as always Andromeda was only looking at people through the hole in her wallet and not for who they really were.

Nymphadora never would have picked Charlie on her own, never in a million years. He was rude. Classist. Controlling. And he had a foul temper that she had already been on the wrong side of a handful of times. She'd even started envisioning herself a life away from money, a life where she didn't have to wake up every morning and have all her choices stripped away. Her entire life planned out before her eyes.

People choosing what she wore. What she ate. What she said even.

Yes the marriage gave her money. Stability for both her and her mother. But at what real cost? A life of becoming another brain dead, thoughtless trophy wife, used simply to bear a few children, who would only be forgotten in a few years when her dear husband grew bored and found himself a mistress, leaving her with nobody but her children for company who would only be raised for the same pathetic existence. It was always the same, she'd watched it happen around her for her entire life. It never changed.

She had almost been trying to ignore it for months now, but boarding the ship had almost shunted her back into reality again. And made her realise that she had simply stepped upon a prison trawler, taking her to her cell that she would be locked in for life. She had been on the ship less than 24 hours and already she was understanding finally what she had gotten herself in for. And it was enough to make her sick.

She felt violently claustrophobic, trapped, and her feet had lead her from dinner with a muttered excuse of needing air. And now she was running, charging down the deck, pushing people who got in her way, stumbling every now and again as she went, her heels threatening to sprain her ankles with every step she took. She didn't know where exactly she was planning on running too. There was only so far one could go on a boat.

But she just had to get _away._ She was done. Done with this ship, done with Charlie, done with the entire bloody lot of them. She was barely 19. she had her entire life ahead of her but it was all being mapped out for her. She didn't have a say, didn't get a say. And it was all _too much._ She kept running, her feet pounding up the stairs, tears streaming down her face.

She wanted to barge her way into the captains room and demand him to turn the boat around, grab hold of the steering wheel herself and steer them back towards England. Or jump out into the water and make a swim for it. the possibility of dying out in the waves from exertion felt like her better option to staying put and drifting towards what may as well have been a life sentence. 

But maybe.

Maybe it was.

She went hurtling into the rails at the back of the ship so hard she sprained her wrist, no where else for her to run to. She looked out at the horizon, England far behind them now. Then she stared at the waves that were crashing down below her, the propellers churning up the water and turning the calm waves into aggressive ones. But somehow the water seemed calm too. Because there was no one down there to tell her what to do.

Maybe it would be better.

Maybe maybe.

Down there, in the darkness. In the water. In the silence. Deep down there, it would be silent. Just a pool of darkness, quiet and black and lonely. Lonely wouldn't be any change from what she was now. She was constantly surrounded by people whether it was maids or her family, or Charlie and his pathetic Valet Bill. But it made no difference.

She was surrounded by people but no one was paying her attention. She felt like screaming at the top of her lungs wouldn't even grab their attention for a second. But down there, in the water, there'd be no one to talk over her. No one to dismiss anything she ever had to say as a silly little girl trying to have ideas.

Maybe.

Maybe just a closer look.

She let out a long breath and stepped up onto the railing, peering closer at the water. It was considerably windier as she stood two rungs higher than she had been with her feet planted firmly on the deck. It chilled her right down to the bone but she was already numb.

She looked back up on the horizon, looked as her freedom got further and further away. And then she looked back down. In the darkness. In the black. In the nothingness. She climbed over the railing, leaning back against the metal and closed her eyes as more tears escaped down her cheeks. Was this her only choice now? Was this what life had come to? She felt almost selfish. Her life wasn't bad in comparison to others. She had plenty of money. Plenty of food. Family around her. But it didn't feel like that. She didn't want it. Not anymore. Because it didn't make her happy. It didn't.

Someone had once told her that money couldn't buy you happiness. How right they had been. She wanted the dark. She wanted the nothingness. The silence. Not the chatter about how many people would be at her wedding and what gifts they should bring. Not the talk about how much fortune she was going to inherit for her family by marrying a man she didn't love. Marrying a man she barely even knew. She wanted _nothing._ She wanted to make a decision for herself for once. Wanted to do something herself. She wanted control. She didn't want to marry to keep her family afloat. She wanted to marry for love, she didn't need money. Not really. She wanted to choose things for herself and love for herself.

" please don't do it " she startled, almost losing a grip on the rails as someone spoke softly from behind her. She turned her head to see a man standing a few feet away from her, a cigarette balancing in his mouth " don't, let me help you down and- "

" stay back! " she called as the man took a step towards her. He lifted his hands in defense but took another step towards her " I'll let go! I will! stay back! " he nodded and turned his head slightly to blow smoke away from her. But his eyes didn't leave her for even a second.

He looked vaguely familiar but she couid quite understand where from. From the way he was dressed she assumed he was a third class passenger. No one in first class would have been seen dead in the baggy jumper he was sporting.

She almost laughed at herself for critiquing his clothing. She was far too easily distracted.

The man then took another step forward gesturing to the cigarette in his mouth   
" not going to touch you. I'm just tossing it " he said and threw it into the water, clearly it was just an excuse to get a little closer though as he didn't step back again " it's not a very good way to go you know " he said and nodded towards the water, taking another small step towards her and shoving his hands into his pockets. Her face screwed up in confusion, what on earth was he going on about? Why was he even still here?

" what? "

" drowning " the man shrugged " it's slow. And painful too. That water. It's way below freezing in there. And the fall alone might break a few bones. But then the drowning? It will suffocate you. Fills your lungs and chokes you from the inside out. Shame that you're going to put me through that too, rather rude for saying that we only just met " the man said with a sigh and then shrugged off his jacket, folding it neatly before placing it down onto the deck. She still looked at him with pure confusion on her face. Of course she would end up stuck with a mad man right before she planned to die. One last kick in the teeth from god she guessed.

" what on Earth are you talking about? What are you doing, leave me alone "

" well if you jump in I'm gonna have to jump in after you. I'm a witness now. I'm involved. Don't have a pen do you? Would be nice to leave a note for my friend, in case they don't rescue us in time of course. Though quite honestly he hasn't paid any attention to me since we ran on here, he's been trying to charm the socks of some woman in the cabin three down from us. Marlene or something " she couldn't quite believe he was rambling on about something so unimportant whilst she was still hanging off the back of the boat.

She turned back to looking at the water, leaning forward a little more. Maybe she could just jump whilst he was still rambling on. Then he wouldn't be able to stop her, it would be far too late for him to follow her in " but. Then again, you're not going to jump. so why don't you come back over here and tell me what's up? I'm a good listener. I'll listen to you. I know you won't jump so please just come back over okay? " Nymphadora scoffed and shook her head.

Who did he think he was? Trying to tell her what she would and wouldn't do?

" you don't know me. You don't know what I'll do. What is it with men and constantly deciding for me what I shall and shan't do " the man shrugged again.

" you're right. I don't know you. But I know you won't jump. You would have done it by now if you really wanted to do it. But here you are. Standing there getting cold and chatting to me. So come chat this side of the barrier. Yeah? " she sniffled and shook her head, closing her eyes again. What was she doing still stood here talking to him.

" you're distracting me " she mumbled "I do want this. I want to do it. I'm going to do it "

" why? " the man asked and Nymphadora heard him stepping a little closer again.

" I feel... trapped " she said quietly. It felt pathetic to say it, childish. But she couldn't find the right words anymore. No words felt right to describe her turmoil " I feel like I'm screaming in a room crowded with people but no ones looking at me. No one is listening to me. And my fiancé..... my fiancé.... I can't. I. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore " the man sighed and stood right next to her, his hands only centimetres from hers on the rails. How had she let him so close.

" it's okay to feel like that sometimes.... to be down. I get like that as well...look. Come back over here and tell me all about it yeah? I'll listen to you. I will. Not all men are controlling tossers you know? I wanna listen to you. There's a bench right there look, we can go and sit there and have a chat and then if you still wanna jump after that... then you can. Alright? " She looked back down at the water and the thought suddenly didn't seem as welcoming now. Because someone wanted to listen. Listen to her. And he didn't even know her.

He wanted to know what was wrong, wanted to know her feelings. And was even going to give her the choice to throw herself back over the railings if she wanted to. She had quite forgotten men like that did exist. He was giving her a _choice._

" what's your name? " he asked after a small moment.

" Nymphadora Tonks " she said softly, her hands starting to hurt now with their tight grip on the railings.

" nympha- blimey gonna have to get you right that one down for me. Got a nickname? Or are nicknames a little too lower class for the rich" she was surprised to find a small laugh leaving her lips

" my dad used to call me Dora "

" Dora. Right. Much more simple. I'm Remus lupin. Now let's get you back over here yeah? " Nymphadora closed her eyes briefly and then nodded. " good I was really hoping you'd get me off the hook with this one. I really wasn't looking forward to jumping in there. Now come on. Take my hand, don't worry I've got you "

" okay " Remus sighed in relief and held onto her arms as she turned to climb back over. His hands moved to hold her waist as she turned, before coming up to hold her hands and her breath hitched slightly at the pure _indecency_ of it all. Which was foolish to think of really when only a mere matter of minutes ago she was ready to throw herself to her death. If only her mother could see her now.

" don't worry. I've got you " he said, taking her pause as fear rather than what it truly was. She gave a small nod and stepped up a rung higher. But her shoe- those god forsaken heels her mother forced her into- caught in the skirt of her dress and her foot slipped from beneath her. She screamed as she suddenly found herself dangling over the edge of the boat, the waves she had longed to join earlier no longer seeming so inviting. Moments ago she had been in control, but now. Now her life was quite literally in a strangers hands. For only Remus was keeping her up, keeping her from falling down into the dark. The blackness. The silence " don't let go! I got you! "

She was screaming, begging for him to pull her to safety as Remus tried to pull her back over the railing. And she realised how utterly foolish she had been to ever think she was brave enough to jump. Remus had been right. She wouldn't have " I've got you! I've got you! Don't let go! " maybe she was the pathetic child that Charlie so often referred to her as. Maybe it was good she couldn't make her own choices if she was to end up doing something as utterly foolish as this.

Remus gave one final tug of her hands and with a grunt they both fell backwards onto the deck. He had somehow landed quite unceremoniously on top of her, but her fear at almost dying overshadowed the indecency " are you okay? "

Her screaming had drawn a crowd and some of the staff of the ship, as well as some of the men who had been out smoking came running over to them.

" what's going on here?! " he looked between Remus, who was crouched beside her and then back to her, lay flat on her back trembling with fear. It mustn't have painted a very good picture of the two of them " you stay back! Don't you touch her! " Two of them gabbed Remus by the arms and yanked him roughly to his feet. She heard one of the men requesting someone fetch Charlie and she shakily sat up, trying to catch her breath and tell the men to let Remus go.

" let me help you up miss " a hand was extended out to her and she took it, shakily getting to her feet " you look freezing miss. Someone get her a blanket! " a blanket was around her shoulders in a matter of seconds.

" who is this man and why am I being told he has been touching my fiancé! " a loud voice boomed through the crowd mere moments later. An unmistakable voice. Charlie appeared with his presence, as always, commanding all the attention of anyone nearby " arrest this man! " the men holding onto Remus yanked at his arms and slipped him into cuffs immediately, Remus didn't seem to protest at all. But didn't take his eyes off her, as if waiting to see if she would speak up and tell the truth.

Or simply wither back into role at her stranger of a fiancé's side, back into the lonely lonely crowds that never listened to her.

" Please don't. Please. This man, He helped me. He did nothing wrong. It really is all such a big misunderstanding, it's not at all what it looked like " She said, finally finding her voice. Charlie walked over to her and pulled at her arm a little rougher than necessary so she'd look at him.

" what are you talking about? what's going on here? " Remus was still looking at her, still waiting, his eyes darting between her and Charlie.

" I. I wanted to look at the... uh, the uh. Uh... " she spun her finger round looking for the word. She always was a bad liar.

" the propellers? " Charlie asked with a mocking tone in his voice.

" yes! The propellers. And. And. And I slipped over the edge of the rails. This man, mr Lupin , he grabbed me. He was out for a walk, heard me scream. he saved my life Charlie. he did " he didn't look completely convinced and turned to look at Remus, his eyes looking him up and down with a pure disgust.

" is this true? " she looked at him with pleading eyes, begging him to play along with her version of events. Part of her thought he wouldn't, he didn't owe her anything. He didn't know her. Why should he lie for her, to what? Protect her dignity? To save the poor little rich girl from getting embarrassed?

" yeah. It's what happened " he said and she almost sighed in relief, the sudden urge to yank him into her arms and hug him washing over her.

" you know me, always tripping myself up " she added, trying to make it sound light hearted.

" good! Sorted then! You know what I always say about women and machinery! This man is a hero! Now let him go and let's get back to our whiskey yes? " said one of the guests who had been dining with Nymphadora and her family that evening.

" quite... come on you must be freezing " Charlie said and wrapped the blanket tighter around her before guiding her away from the scene, it was almost a caring gesture.

" maybe something for the young man sir? " the worker asked as he removed remus' handcuffs. Charlie sighed as Remus rubbed at her wrists, there were red indents in his skin where they had clearly been far too tight on him. She felt the urge to rush over and soothe them for him. But she stayed rooted to the spot. It was not the time or place.

" will a ten do? " Nymphadora scoffed at that, turning to Charlie with a raised eyebrow.

" he saves my life and you think all I am worth is a ten? " he rolled his eyes and thrusted some money in Remus' direction who took it with a nod of thanks, burying it in his pocket " is that the going rate for the woman you love? " Charlie frowned again and she knew she was pushing it.

" Nymphadora is displeased ... I know. sir, id like you to join us for dinner tomorrow night. Tell us all of your heroic adventures " her heart jumped a little at the idea of getting to see this man again, the man who had saved her. Offered to listen. Gave her a choice. He looked over to her then as if asking if that was alright. She gave him a weak smile.

" sure. I'd love to "

" great. Now come Nymphadora. I think it's safer for everyone if you go back to your room " Charlie said and led her away, leaving Remus stood out on the deck alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I posted a tumblr post regarding my Dyslexia [Here](https://messrmoonyy.tumblr.com/post/641640913489330176/i-just-wanna-make-this-quick-little-note-for) if you would like to read it before this just for some clarifications on any spelling/ grammatical errors in this fic

Remus woke up early the next morning, before Sirius or either of the two men sharing their cabin even stirred. He got dressed as quietly as he could and slipped from the cabin without waking any of them. He popped into the dining hall on F deck but didnt stay for breakfast, instead just grabbed two slices of toast that were hastily spread with butter and headed out for the deck with his sketch pad under his arm. It was quiet so early in the morning, a few people out an about, the first class stewards walking dogs down on the third class deck.

It was bliss.

The early morning sun was glittering off the waves, the ocean spread out wide around him. He'd never felt more free in his entire life. His whole future set out ahead of him, ready for him to grasp and mould just how he wanted it. He wondered what Lyall would be doing now. If he even missed him. He probably hadn't even noticed he'd gone, or was happy to have woken up and not find his son at home.

Remus had disappeared for long periods of time before but he had always gone back. Even though Lyall acted as if he had not even noticed he had left every time. Even when he'd managed to sneak his way onto a ferry to Paris at 18, he'd been gone for over a month before he'd gone back home. Lyall hadn't said a word about it. He probably didn't give a damn where Remus was now.

He sat down on one of the benches lining the deck after he'd ate his breakfast and pulled out his sketch pad. He was greeted by a dozen small drawings of Nymphadora, he had spent most of last night drawing her. Trying to capture what he remembered of her from memory, her beautiful tear stained face, her red hair that had strands slipping out from her intricate updo and curling around her face, sticking to her cheeks with her tears.

She had been distraught, so sad that she was ready to end it all. Yet she'd somehow still looked beautiful, so beautiful it made his chest hurt.

He'd seen many a beautiful woman in his life but none had struck him like she had. Had almost wormed their way into his head and planted them self there, unmoving.

He wanted to see her again, couldn't wait to see her at dinner and see her in all her finery again. Without tears running down her face this time.

Maybe he had spent far too much time around Sirius and was letting a girl practically take over his mind. Remus had had girlfriends before, of course he had, but he'd never been like Sirius. Had never been so easily completely enamoured by a girl that they were all he thought about. Maybe he'd just never found the right girl to become all consumed with. Until now?

" what you drawing? " his eyes were drawn away from his paper, he wasn't sure how much later, when Sirius appeared " bloody hell mate. Her again? Why's she so sad? " he sat down beside him, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Remus simply shrugged and turned to look at his friend.

" why do _you_ look so happy? "

" I'm in love mate, that's what love does to you " Remus scoffed and shook his head. Typical. Of _course_ he thought he was in love. He fell in love at least three times a day. It had always intrigued Remus when he thought about it. Because Sirius had grown up around so much hatred, so little love and affection. Yet Sirius himself seemed to have it by the bucket load, threw love around like confetti " what? I am. she's brilliant Re. We danced for hours, she's got more energy than me. Hard to believe I know but she has. I think she's the one for me. Never met anyone like her in my life. She's dead smart too, knows all this math stuff and she wants to work in a bank she says that's a good respectable job but it'll test her mind or something. Love a smart woman I do Re. I like a challenge you know? " Remus chuckled at his friends rambling and looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

He looked elated, running his hand through his long hair with a dopey smile on his face. Completely smitten for a girl he'd only just met, ridiculous. He almost voiced his amusement until he realised that was quite the pot calling the kettle black wasn't it? After all out of the two which had been up most of the night repeatedly drawing a girl? Not Sirius.

" what gonna get married are you? "

" maybe " Remus scoffed again and turned back to his drawing with a shake of his head " what? We'd have beautiful kids. Was talking to James too, he said he fell in love with his Lily just as fast "

" you don't like children " Remus countered, sharpening his pencil " not even your brother "

" maybe I'll change my mind for her... stop looking at me like that. It's no different to you and that girl you were drooling over yesterday, that's her isn't it? That you're drawing? Someone's fawning "

" I'm not fawning "

he was absolutely fawning.

He was just thankful he wasn't as lovesick as Sirius clearly was.

" you can't say shit about me and Marlene when you're all soppy for a girl you haven't even spoken to. If you'd actually been below decks last night you'd have seen the chemistry we have, me and Marlene... pretty name ain't it? Marlene. _Marlene "_ little did Sirius know he had done far more than just talk to Nymphadora. He'd damn saved her life. And almost got arrested for the privilege.

" want a pencil? so you can doodle Marlene and Sirius over your belongings? Mr and Mrs Sirius Black? " Sirius rolled his eyes and shoved Remus' hand away that was holding out a pencil to him.

" what did you get up to last night anyway? Didn't see much of you at all come to think of it " he asked, leaning back on the bench with his arm behind his head and basking in the sun, a steady stream of smoke coming from his second cigarette.

Sirius was a beautiful person too, he had that kind of face that looked as if it had been sculpted by gods. It was a face that said he came from money, which he absolutely did. He'd drawn Sirius a lot, he had been one of his favourite people to draw. Nymphadora might have taken his place as the favourite subject now.

" from what you're saying you'd not have noticed if I was there anyway " Remus said after a moment.

" piss off... come on then. What were you doing? " he smiled and almost laughed. He hadnt had the most normal of evenings really had he?

" nothing too interesting. Some stargazing.... some drawings. Saved that pretty first class girl from drowning. You know. The usual stuff one does whilst on a boat " Sirius choked on a puff of smoke as Remus simply stayed drawing, speaking as if it was the most casual thing ever, his pencil swirling to capture the perfect way that Nymphadoras hair had curled around her face.

" what? _What?!_ Re " Remus shrugged and smudged a line with his finger.

" she was trying to throw herself off. Then she slipped. I pulled her back over. Going for dinner with her family tonight actually " from the corner of his eye he could see Sirius looking at him completely gobsmacked.

" first class? Fucking Christ. You know I was joking when I said we were royalty now right? You're letting this Titanic shit get to your head. Bloody first class. You posho. You _snob_ Remus Lupin "

He hadn't actually given much thought about the dinner in first class, only that he was going to get to see Nymphadora again. He knew he'd only get nervous if he sat and thought about it too long so he was just simply... ignoring it for now.

People like him didn't mix with first class. They didn't mix with the upper class. The closest they got was maybe working for them. He was used to it, having the upper class looking at him like he was absolutely worthless. But she didn't look at him like that. Even hanging off the back of a boat, she'd looked at him as if he was he most wonderful person to walk the earth when he'd offered to simply listen to her. To talk. She clearly didn't have many people offer to do that for her.

Bring rich clearly wasn't everything.

But then again. He'd seen that in Sirius.

" what's she called? "

" Nymphadora Tonks. Pretty name don't you think? " Sirius laughed in shock and shoved Remus' shoulder again.

" and here you are making fun of me and Marlene? Whats it again? Nifer- what? "

" Nymphadora " he said and couldn't stop a smile pulling at his lips. Even just saying her name was making him happy. A pretty name for a pretty face he mused.

" bit of a mouthful. What is it with the rich and their bloody complicated names? " Sirius said with a shake of his head, putting out his cigarette and immediately lighting another.

" you're technically Rich " Remus pointed out which made Sirius shrug, his hand running through his hair again.

" not anymore... besides. My name isn't complicated. Niffern- whatever the fuck is ridiculous "

" she told me to call her Dora. It's not ridiculous. It's a pretty name " he rolled his eyes " it's fitting. Nymphs, I read about them once.... yeah, suits her " he mused, getting far too distracted by her again.

He really had been around Sirius for far too long.

" got nicknames and everything?... she single? " Sirius asked after a moment, wiggling his eyebrows at Remus suggestively.

" is that all you think about? " Remus asked, looking up from his drawing and putting a cigarette between his lips. He clearly wasn't about to get any chance to focus with him rambling on.

" it's not _all_ I think about... but it's a good majority " Sirius added with a laugh and poked at Remus' side repeatedly.

" get off! " Remus laughed and shoved him away. For a moment he felt his heart swell at seeing Sirius so cheerful. He hadn't seen him really happy in a long time, constantly in a state of fear and worry because of his mother. He'd almost become accustomed to seeing Sirius crying, hurt, turning up at his front door in the middle night after a particularly bad run in with Walburga. Or his father, Orion. Or sometimes even both.

It was unbelievable to think that barely two weeks ago Sirius was at his front door at 3 in the morning, sobbing and standing in the rain completely defeated, a bloody nose and a back so slashed from Orion's Belt repeatedly hitting his skin that blood had seeped through his shirt.

He'd seen Sirius at his lowest and now he was ready to see him at his best.

Even if that did mean watching him think he was in love with a girl he had known barely 24 hours. He was just happy to see him smiling for once.

" you didn't answer me anyway... is she single? Got a chance? You're a regular old snob now Re. You could totally get a little poshie like her " Remus knew that absolutely wasn't the case. She was engaged. She'd told him herself. And by the looks he was equally as rich as she was, maybe even more so. She would never go for someone like Remus, someone with barely a tenner to his name.

" she's engaged " _to a complete tosser by the looks of it_

" tough luck mate... never know she might have a bit of thing for commoners" one could hope. But he found it highly unlikely. The rich loved the rich. They didn't love the poor. The worthless. In his years observing the rich, working for them too, he'd come to learn one particular thing. The rich craved security. And money brought you security. They held onto their money like a lifeline so that they might never lose that sense of safety, the social standing that it brought them.

People died for a social standing like what Nymphadora clearly held.

Marrying a commoner did not bring you security. Remus didn't even have a place to live currently. He was far from secure.

" not likely " He blew the lead dust from his paper and held his picture to the light to get a good luck at it. He'd plan to draw her again after dinner, hoping to catch a good look at her happy. Maybe laughing. Some joyful expression he could commit to memory and put to paper.

He almost fell off the bench when he lowered it again and his drawing had seemingly jumped off the page. For Nymphadora was stood in front of him, her little gloved hands fumbling nervously in front of her.

" hello. I hope I'm not intruding on anything? " Remus noticed a few of the other third class passengers out enjoying the sun were looking at her as if she was an alien. Or some mythical creature. Because why on earth would a first class passenger venture down to the practical slums of third class?

Remus quickly pulled his cigarette from his mouth and handed it over to Sirius in a rush, not sure where else to put it and tried to sit up a little straighter. He didn't even know why.

" you're not. Not at all " Sirius was quietly snickering beside him.

" I just wondered if we could maybe go for a walk? I'd like to have a word with you if that's okay? " Remus was on his feet in an instant, closing his sketch pad and stashing his things back into his pockets " you don't mind if I borrow him for a while do you? " she asked, turning to Sirius who had the worlds smuggest smile on his face, and now his own and Remus' cigarette between his lips.

" not at all. Borrow away, just bring him back in one piece " her cheeks flushed ever so slightly at his words and Remus glared at him " I've gotta go find my girl anyway, she'll be missing me she will. Have fun " Remus resisted the urge to go and toss him overboard and gestured for Nymphadora to walk on to get her away before Sirius said anything else embarrassing.

" lead the way " she gave a small smile and started to walk. He turned to look back at Sirius who gave him a thumbs up and disappeared to seemingly find Marlene " what did you wanna talk about then? " Remus asked after a minute of silence, shoving his hands into his pockets.

" You Mr Lupin "

" it's Remus. Please " she gave a small nod and clasped her hands back in front of her. He couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable she seemed to be in her own skin, like she didn't feel as if she belonged.

He liked to think he was good at reading people, he spent a good amount of his time watching strangers and learning their body language. She was almost too easy to read, clearly she wore her emotions on her sleeve.

" Remus "

" I'm afraid there isn't much to tell. Left home a week ago and now I'm here. Won our tickets in a very lucky game of poker. Very lucky " he gave a side glance to her with that and found she was already looking at him. Her cheeks flushed crimson and she looked away from him " that smug git I was just sat with, we were running from his mum. Nasty piece of work she is "

Dora nodded along as he spoke, telling her all about the arrangement of marriage Sirius would have been forced into, their nights sleeping under bridges and behind bins in alleys. Making their way to Southampton and their original plans. Then the poker game. They spoke about the weather and Remus' mother. Everything.

" well. We've done laps around the deck and spoken about the weather and my entire life story but I'm not sure that's why you came to talk to me is it? " they stopped walking and she leant against the railing, looking out at the ocean. The late afternoon sun was growing lower now, a golden glow shimmering over the waves. Had they really been out for that long?

" no. I wanted to come and thank you for last night. And for your discretion with Charlie "

" how'd you meet that one? " he asked remembering how he had seen a little controlling of her, tugging at her harder than necessary, guiding her away and not really letting her speak. He had never quite understood the rich's relationship with women. The way they were made to seem inferior, lesser, not worthy of having a voice or even a single thought in their pretty little heads.

Of course their were poor couples like that, but he'd rarely seen it. The poor knew where they stood with each other, majority of the time neither had anything really and they were equals. Didn't care about being better than the other they just simply _loved._ But from what he had seen of the rich they were almost in constant battle. Wanting to be better than one another. More money. More power. And the general consensus seemed to be that women had absolutely no power, were there for men to parade around and use for whatever.

They were inferior in men's eyes, cause god forbid a woman have more money than her husband, more power, the damn ability to think for herself.

Though Nymphadora had tried to think for herself, she had tried to regain her control. Even if that had mean gaining it back for only a few moments before she claimed death as her own. She had something within her, a fire, but someone like Charlie would eventually put it out.

" it's arranged... I barely know him really. But it's what's done. What needs to be done " that sad look had clouded over her face again, the same one from the day he had first spotted her up on the deck. He recognised the sadness in her eyes, he had seen it in Sirius' eyes.

" meant to be done? Marriage isn't something you've gotta do "

" you don't want to be married? " Remus shrugged and leant back on the rails next to her.

" not sure. Maybe. But it's not that important to me. Sirius on the other hand? Already planning to marry a girl he met yesterday. Lovesick fool " she gave a small laugh. He felt like dropping to his knees in awe at the sound, it was almost melodic.

" I wish I was as carefree as you... just run away because you can. Not feel compelled to marry. Not compelled to do anything really. It must be liberating " she was staring out at the water, her mind clearly drifting off. She was imaging a life where she was free to do what she wanted. And what a heartbreaking thought that was, because everyone should be born to be free. To choose. To desire. To love. To _do_ whatever it was they wanted to.

" then why don't you just.... not marry him? " her head whipped around to him then and she frowned, it didn't suit her.

" I have to. I. I want to I do " he laughed at that and fiddled with the string keeping his sketch pad closed. He almost wanted to keep prodding at her to make her talk, to stoke the fire burning within her so that Charlie might not put it out any sooner than was inevitable.

" you love him then? " he found he couldn't quite meet her eye as he asked her that. Almost not wanting to know her answer and having an alarming guilty feeling when he realised he wanted her to say no.

" excuse me? What kind of question is that? "

" a simple one. Do you love him? " she gave another laugh and shook her head, taking a step away from him.

" you. Are very rude. How _dare_ you ask such a thing? I'm. I'm leaving now, have a wonderful day Mr Lupin " she reached out to shake his hand and he took it with a raised eyebrow " I can't believe you really " she continued to shake his hand far longer than normal.

" I thought you were leaving? " he said with a smirk as she still hadn't let go of his hand.

" I am " she let go and turned away from him and he watched her take two steps before turning back around to him again and walking back " you are unbelievably rude "

" oh I am? "

" you are " she looked like she couldn't believe someone would ever suggest such a thing to her, but also quite impressed that someone had. She seemed to be debating with herself whether or not to walk away or stay.   
_Please stay._

" I thought you were going? " she narrowed her eyes at him before they darted down to where his hands were still fiddling with his sketch book. She stepped back towards him and pulled it from his hands " what is this thing you're carrying around anyway? " he couldn't help but smile at her for changing the subject, because she clearly didn't want to leave.

She opened his sketch book and flicked through the pages and seemed to do a double take as if expecting to find scribbles in the pages and not actual art.   
" what are you an artist or something? " she took a closer look at some of his pages and her face softened " oh these are actually rather good " she said a little softer and walked over to a bench and sat down to look better at the pages. He still didn't say anything, still watching the way she looked at his work with a smile tugging at her lips.

" Remus these are incredible " her voice was still soft, laced with awe. She picked up some the pages to look closer at his art, her fingers tracing the lines.

" didn't think much of them in Paris. Thought I'd have had a good shot there, surprisingly not " she looked up then with a look of shock, her head tilting to the side in the most endearing way.

" Paris? Well don't you get around... this is your friend? The man you're travelling with? " she said pointing at a picture of Sirius.

" yep. He's unbelievably self confident, more than happy to be the centre of attention and pose for me " she gave him that melodic little laugh again and then flicked through some more pages, getting to the ones he had drawn in Paris " oh wow... these are drawn from life? " she asked, picking up a drawing of one of the girls he had met in Paris that had been more than happy to pose for him. And more the happy to let Remus practice his accuracy on drawing naked bodies from life.

" good thing about Paris. Plenty of girls willing to take their clothes off for you " he said with a nervous laugh, not sure what her reaction was going to be. But she simply laughed again and looked through more of his drawing with the same look of awe.

" you liked drawing this woman? You drew her a lot " she ran her finger along the lines, tilting her head from side to side to look from as many angles as she could " I think you had a love affair with her " she teased and looked at him with a cheeky little grin on his face.

He tried to remember the exact look so he could capture it on a page later.

" no not really.... I just appreciate beautiful people. I enjoy drawing beautiful people " she shuffled through some more pages to his more recent pieces, a dozen different passengers he had watched and of course the ones of her.

" this is.... this is me? " she asked softly and picked up the page, her finger tracing the lines of the curls of her hair.

" yeah.... like I said. I appreciate beautiful people. I find the beauty in everyone and everything. Granted it is a lot easier with some people " he glanced over at her and she was already watching him, her cheeks flushing red for the second time that day.

" you're very talented " her voice was still soft and she didn't break his gaze straight away. He looked away first, she was almost intimidating in her beauty. He had been around so many beautiful people, so many women that were like goddesses in the flesh. But she was going to bring him to his knees with a simple glance in his direction. Lord what had gotten into him " you have a gift Remus. You really do... you see people. You see things " Remus looked back up at her as she turned back to the drawings, looking at them as if they were the most amazing things she had ever seen. But he knew that the real work of art before him was her.

" I see you " he said after a moment and she blushed again, capturing his eyes for a brief moment before lifting her head into the air and closing her eyes.

" aanndd? " he took a moment just to look at her, he couldn't find a flaw. Not a single one. He almost wanted to reach out and touch her, trace the lines of her face with his fingers to commit it to his memory before drawing her out.

The perfect slope of her little nose, the heart shape of her face, her eyelashes that splayed across her round cheeks, her full lips that he wished he had the honour of being able to kiss. She was magnificent. She was the sun peaking through the clouds after a storm, the first snowflake to fall in winter, the first leaf to drop from its branch in autumn. She was the start of something.

" you wouldn't have jumped " he said equally as soft as she had earlier. she turned to look at him and held his eye again. Those eyes... God he was turning into Sirius. Falling hook line and sinker for someone he barely knew. She made his chest hurt, his lungs forget what air was and struggle to breath.

She was other worldly. Remus was all bumps and scrapes, accidental cigarette burns and uneven lines. She was pristine, not a single fault to her.

She looked away then, looking down at her gloved hands before handing back his sketch pad.

" shall we. Shall we walk again? " she offered after a minute, she sounded like she was expecting him to say no. Maybe he wasn't as easy to read as she was because he felt as if he was ready to follow her anywhere.

" after you " they walked back around and up onto the first class deck, earning Remus a few funny looks but Nymphadora didn't seem phased to be with him.

" where will you be going when we dock? What are your plans? " she asked as they walked along the shaded promenade, stopping close to the end and simply looking out at the water again. The sun was setting now. The sky taking on that delicious golden glow that made everyone and everything just that bit more beautiful to look at it. It was doing wonders for Nymphadora.

" no plans. I just go with the flow. Go where the wind takes me. Probably try and find some nice costal place, tourists are more likely to pay for portraits " she laughed slightly. The setting sun was shining on her, her red hair catching the light perfectly making it look as if it was glowing. He was practically itching to draw her again " did a bit of that kinda thing down in Brighton. On the pier. You been before? " she shook her head " it's nice. Real nice. Sure they have piers in America, you'll have to go have a look at some. Nice places "

" or you could show me them? " she said softly and looked across at him from the corner of her eye. His heart practically leapt out of his chest and flung itself into the ocean at the knowledge she wanted to see him again once the ship docked.

" I- yeah absolutely. Yeah.... they do horse rides on the beach in Brighton. Wonder if they do that in America "

" oh that sounds so amazing " she said dreamily.

" it's great. But you gotta ride the horses properly okay, none of that side saddle crap " she looked at him with a mild shock on her face again. He seemed to have a habit of shocking her.

" you mean. One leg each side? "

" absolutely " her face then spread into the biggest grin, the smile of a girl who hadn't had an ounce of freedom her entire life getting excited about her smallest most minute idea of rebelling. It was almost upsetting.

" promise me we'll go there some day and do that? " her big eyes were looking at him with so much hope and admiration that it would have felt a crime to deny her of anything she asked for.

" promise you " she grasped his hands then with a huge smile pulling at her lips, opening her mouth to say something else but was stopped.

" oh Nymphadora there you are. We wondered where you'd disappeared off to, you missed afternoon tea " she dropped his hands in an instant, taking a small step away. Remus looked over her shoulder to see the woman who had spoken and figured it must have been her mother. They didn't look much alike save for the flaming hair, maybe Nymphadora took after her father.

Her mother's face was sharp, pointed nose and high cheek bones, piercing eyes that didn't seem to hold the warmth that her daughters did. Nymphadora was all round cheeks and plump lips, the most perfect little round nose he had ever seen and eyes that sent shivers down his spine when they looked into his. Nymphadora was soft. Her mother was severe. They were not alike in the slightest really.

" sorry I completely lost track of the time. Mother this is Remus Lupin, the one who saved me yesterday " she quite blatantly looked him up and down, looking at him in a way he was used to from the upper class.

" charmed I'm sure " there was a tension in the air and Nymphadora seemed to pick up on it and hurried over to her mother with a forced smile.

" well, shall we go dress for dinner mother? " she gave a small nod, finally looking away from Remus " i will see you later Remus " she gave him a small smile before holding onto her mother's arm as they walked off back down the promenade.

Remus watched her go. She even looked perfect from the back.

" hey... hey son! " a pair of fingers were suddenly clicking in front of his face and he tore his eyes away from Nymphadora to see a short, plump woman stood before him with a raised eyebrow.

" oh. Alright? " he asked a little confused as to why the woman was taking to him. He then realised she was probably trying to get him off the first class deck, he didn't belong there after all " oh right yeah I'm off don't worry " the woman rolled her eyes and stepped back in front of him.

" you have no idea what you've gotten yourself in for have you son? " she held her hand out to him and he took it with a confused frown, shaking it slowly " Molly Prewett.... you're about to go into the snake pit son, this ain't no fun little party....What are you planning to wear exactly? " he looked down at the same trousers and shirt he'd had on all day and gestured to himself.

He hadn't exactly brought much with him. Especially nothing first class dinner worthy.

Molly gave a laugh and shook her head at him.

" figures. Come with me, we need to get you something decent to wear " she walked off before turning around and seeing he wasn't following her " well are you coming or not " he couldn't help but follow her and he realised she quite reminded him of his mother.

She took him back to her cabin and he looked on in pure confusion as she fumbled around in one of the rooms. He took the opportunity to look at the grandeur of a first class room. Third class rooms were the size of a damn shoebox with four people squeezed in. Mollys cabin was like an entire house. Multiple rooms, a fireplace with a fire crackling away, even a private deck space. He didn't even want to think about how much it would have cost.

" now. Try this " Molly reappeared and had some clothes slung over one arm. She handed it over to him " you look a similar size to my son, should fit you. You'll be laughed right out of there if you turn up in those " her eyes looked him up and down and then she clapped her hands together " go on. In there, try it on "

Surprisingly the suit did fit more or less. He wanted to laugh at himself when he saw his reflection though. He didn't look like himself, he'd never owned a suit in his life. He hadn't even worn one to his mother's funeral.

He wondered what she'd say if she saw him now. She'd always told him to do great things, to aim for greatness and explore the world. To live his life to the fullest. He'd not really taken her seriously when he was younger, had just agreed with her words but not taken any notice. But he understand now, she wanted him to go out and live the life that she couldn't, the life that crippling illness had ruined for her.

He hoped she'd be proud of him.

" ah knew you looked about the same " Mollys head popped around the door and smiled at him. she came up behind him and brushed some non existent dust from his shoulders, turning him around and straightening out his tie.

" why are you helping me? " he asked after a moment, the weirdness of the whole situation finally catching up to him. He didn't know Molly. She didn't know him. Yet here he was in her cabin, borrowing her sons clothes.

" because I've been in your position. A year ago I wouldnt have been able to afford this... I'm what those old toffee noses in that dinner hall call ' new money ' " she then grabbed a comb and made him sit down to attempt at wrangling his hair to be neat " I know I'd have been thankful for a little help if I'd have been in your position "  
  
" I am thankful. Really "

" just pretend like you have a bunch of money and they'll lap you up... they love money. Especially the mother of that little missy you've been, what?, saving from drowning? " he caught her eye in the mirror and the look she had told him she didn't buy Nymphadoras story. At all. " poor little love "

" why what's her mum like? " he asked, wanting to steer the conversation away from why Nymphadora had been hanging off the back of the ship yesterday.

" she'll treat you like an insect that needs to be squashed " a nervous laugh left his mouth without meaning too, but Molly didn't seem to be joking " keep your cool " she raked the comb through his hair, making Remus screw his face up at the slight pain as she tugged at his curls in some attempt to flatten them " I have no idea how she birthed that lovely young lady, something about her. Got some fight in her, good luck to that fiancé of hers that's what I say. He thinks he's high and mighty and can tell her what to do, but he'll have a challenge with that one "

" what's he do anyway? " Molly gave a small shrug, still combing his hair

" steel baron. Heir to a Pittsburgh fortune. Owns a few mills " he was well and truly loaded with money then. As he'd expected. 

When she'd slavered half a pot of gel into Remus' hair and it was sitting relatively smoothly she gave him a triumphant look and clapped his shoulders.

" look at you, shine up like a new penny!" He stood back up and in front of the mirror. Now he really didn't look like himself. He could already see Sirius laughing at him in his head   
_' you snob Remus Lupin! '_

Molly lead him though to the first class lobby after getting ready for dinner herself, leaving him almost instantly to talk to someone she knew and he stood a little awkwardly. He felt out of place and like someone was going to spot him for the fraud he was any second and ask him to leave.

He watched as various people walked by him and tried to pick up on their body language, the way they held themselves, spoke, behaved. Then tried to copy it. He wanted to blend in.

Now that he was actually stood in the lobby he was starting to feel a bit sick, nerves that he had been suppressing all day threatening to turn into panic if he thought about them for too long. He straightened his back and righted his posture as best he could. He'd always been a bit gangly, his limbs a little too long and it often meant he was in a permanent slouch. But no one around him was slouching, they were all so perfectly pristine and he just wanted to fit in.

Mainly for Nymphadoras sake. She'd been brought up around this, she was this, these people, this lifestyle. He didn't want to embarrass her.

Remus then spotted Charlie with Nymphadoras mother at the top of the stairs, he opened his mouth to greet them and outstretched his hand as they reached the bottom but they completely ignored him. He brought his hand back in, awkwardly trying to play it off with a scratch of his head. He couldnt tell if it was a good thing or not that they hadn't spoken to him or even seemed to have spotted him.

Maybe he was blending in like he'd hoped. Or maybe it was simply that skill that the upper class seemed to have to be able to cast a blind eye to anyone even slightly below them on the social ladder.

He wasn't certain he liked either option if he was quite honest.

Nymphadora appeared at the top of the staircase next and he had to do a double take. He felt the air leaving his lungs and he was certain that she could tell him to rob a bank and he'd go do it at the drop of a hat.

" close your mouth son " a hand tapped him under the chin as Molly walked past him with a chuckle. Nymphadora descended the stairs in a dress that probably cost more than his entire house ten times over. He couldn't understand how no one else was looking at her, how she hadn't captured the entire ships attention just by existing.

How were men and women alike not falling at her feet? How was she not batting people away? How was no one looking at, noticing her, appreciating her? He felt like grabbing the passengers and shaking them, berating them for not giving her the attention that she deserved.

" hello again... you look incredible " she said with a smile when she reached him. He couldnt find words straight away, she'd taken the breath straight from his lungs, the words right from his mouth. He could do nothing but try to pull himself together, gently picking up her gloved hand and placing a kiss to her knuckles " let me introduce you to my mother and Charlie properly" she said with a small smile. Remus offered her his arm and her smile simply grew as she placed her hands in the crook of his elbow.

" what's your mums name? "

" Andromeda. She's a stickler for manners though, use Mrs Tonks " Her mother and Charlie were stood talking to another passenger as they made their way over. Nymphadora reached out a placed a hand to Charlie's shoulder to grab his attention.

" darling... darling. This is Remus, Mr Lupin, you remember him? mother this is Remus " the two of them turned around and both had matching looks of mild disgust on their faces at being interrupted. By a third class passenger no less.

" of course. Hardly recognised you Lupin, you could almost pass for a gentleman tonight " Charlie said and laughed, Andromeda jointing in and gingerly holding out her hand to Remus who shook it quickly.

" pleasure to meet you properly Mrs Tonks " she was giving him the same almost challenging look that she had earlier

" shall we get seated? " she turned to Charlie who offered his arm and Nymphadora and Remus followed on behind.

" she'll try and batter you down. Don't let her " she whispered as they stepped into the dining room. It was far more fancy than the one down on F deck. Separate tables with crisp white tablecloths, candelabras and floral centrepieces, large windows with silk drapes, crystal glasses and China plates with expensive silver ware. He was almost scared he was going to break something.

" sweet pea are you coming? " Charlie said from ahead. It made Remus' blood boil to remember that that man was the one who had the honour of calling Nymphadora his girl. And not Remus.

" let me tell you some names. Some people like to join us, just in case any do tonight " she said completely ignoring Charlie and looked around the room, stepping closer to him to speak closer to his ear " you see her? The blonde woman Narcissa Malfoy, that's her husband Lucius. They're heading to America to wed too, but she's in.. shall we say delicate condition? notice how she's holding her bag? How she's trying to hide it? Pregnant out of wedlock, quite the scandal... oh that's Severus, awful man honestly. He doesn't talk to many people other than to talk about how much money he has "

She reeled off a few more names and he tried to remember them but they all went in one ear and out the other. He was far too nervous, but he hoped it didn't show.

" hey sonny, wanna escort another lady to dinner? " Molly appeared at his side and he held out his arm with a chuckle and lead both women to the dinner table. Thankfully he had been seated next to Molly, a few seats across from Nymphadora.

He was immediately thrown off by the sheer amount of cutlery in his place and gave an almost desperate look towards Molly.

" these are all mine? Which is for what? Why's this fork so small- Molly- "   
  
" start from the outside and work your way in " she whispered under her breath and Remus gave a small nod and tried to regain his cool.

" so how are the third class accommodations on this ship? I hear they are rather good " Andromeda asked when everyone was settled and food was being served, taking a sip of her wine. She seemed to be looking at him in a way that said she was almost challenging him. Again. Trying to embarrass him. But he was not one to backdown from a challenge and simply smiled at her.

" they're the best I've seen. Hardly any rats " the table laughed and he caught Nymphadora trying not to smile too broadly, looking down at her plate so her mother wouldn't see her. She'd been chancing glances ever since they sat down and was trying not to get too flustered by her as well as not combust from the amount of nerves bubbling and ready to fizz out.

" so where do you live currently? " one of the men at the table asked. He couldn't for the life of him remember his name.

" well currently the RMS Titanic. Then who knows. I like to roam " he said truthfully, earning him a few murmurs. The idea of free spirit definitely didn't sit well with the upper class. Further proving his own point that the rich craved security. Routine. Normality.

" and you enjoy that rootless existence do you? " Andromeda asked, a condescending tone in her voice and those piercing eyes were back on him again.

" well yes I do actually. You only have one life, you need to use it to its full potential and explore. Staying in one place isn't for me, a boring life wasn't made for me " he caught Nymphadora looking at him again, that same look of awe in her eyes she had had earlier in the day. It was almost like she envied him for being able to say such things in front of Andromeda.

" how do you have means to travel? " Charlie asked, that disgusted frown still not having left his face since they'd sat down.

" I work my way from place to place. I like to see the world. I figure life is a gift and I don't intend to waste it in one place. I make my own luck. I make every second count " he caught Nymphadoras eye again and she smiled at him with pride. Molly too was looking at him like a proud mother and gave him a little pat on the leg as if to say 'well done'.

" to making it count " Nymphadora said then, raising her class to incite a toast. Everyone joined in except for Andromeda and Charlie, who raised their glasses but kept their mouths tightly closed.

As dinner came to a close and their plates were taken away Nymphadora looked back over to him and lowered her voice.   
  
" now they'll go for brandy in the smoking room, retreat into a haze of smoke and alcohol to congratulate each other on being complete masters of the universe " he gave a small laugh as one of the guests stood up and suggested the men did just that.

" will you be join us Remus? Don't want to sit out here with all the women do you?" one of the dinner guests asked but he had far better plans for his evening.

" no no. I best be getting back " Charlie came up beside him then and patted his shoulder.

" probably for the best. It will be politics and such. You wouldn't understand. Thanks for coming " he then rounded the table to Nymphadora and Remus couldn't help but notice how she lowered her head as he did.

" shall I walk you back to the cabin? "

" No, I'd like to stay here " he spoke to her like she was a child almost. It made him mad beyond belief.

" hey Molly. Haven't got a pen and some paper have you? " Remus asked quietly and Molly fumbled through his bag and gave him a little notebook and pen with a smile.

He quickly wrote out his note and handed the things back before standing up " thanks Molly "

" lovely seeing you son " he then rounded the table to where Nymphadora was looking at him with pleading eyes.

" Must you go? Ignore Crouch you can stay out here with us " Remus gave her a small smile and shook his head.   
  
" afraid I have to go back to third class and row with the other slaves " she gave a sad smile and nodded, sad with the knowledge that he was leaving " besides, gotta make sure Sirius hasn't secretly married Marlene whilst I've been gone. I wouldn't put it past him " that made her smile properly and he reached out for her hand, bringing it to his lips again " I had a great time. Thank you " he then slipped the note into her hand and headed for the doors out of the dining hall.

He chanced a glance back to make sure she'd gotten the note as he did.

' _Meet me at the clock. Make it count'_

He climbed the stairs in the first class lobby and stood waiting beneath the clock, watching the second hand tick by and silently begging she would actually follow him.

He'd seen her miserable for most of the evening and was determined to make her laugh. Smile. He also really wanted to see Sirius' face when he appeared in first class with Nymphadora by his side. If she turned up anyway.

" Remus? " he turned around and there she was stood at the foot of the staircase, the note in her hands still. She was looking up at him in a way he didn't see her look at Charlie, like he was her source of happiness. Like he was the only thing currently making her want to smile. And quite frankly he felt that that might be true.

He watched her as she climbed the steps to stand beside him and then smiled, leaning against the banister and raising his eyebrow at her.

" fancy going to a real party? "


	3. Chapter 3

When Remus had offered Nymphadora the invitation to a 'real party' she wasn't sure what to expect at all.

As she stood with Remus on the steps leading down into the party she couldn't help but smile. It was nothing like she'd experienced before. The party raring on below deck was lively, chaotic almost. Everyone seemed to know each other, dancing and laughing like it was all one big family reunion and not a gathering of people who had only met mere days ago.

All the parties she had ever attended had been refined, simple, all polite conversations and expensive foods and wine. There was nothing refined about this crowd, they were loud and cheerful and downing beer like it was water, a band playing upbeat music nothing alike the waltz she was used to.

" come on they won't bite! lemme introduce you properly to Sirius, if we can drag him away from Marlene for 10 seconds anyway " Remus said and grabbed a hold of her hand, leading her down the rest of the stairs and tugging her gently through the crowds. He lead her towards a table towards the back of the room where the man with long hair he had been sat with earlier in the morning was.

The crowds of people seemed unmoving and he shuffled behind her, placing a hand onto to her back to guide her forward. She tried to ignore the way her breath seemed to hitch in her throat at his contact and let him guide her to the table " oi! Brought a friend " Remus used as greeting to the table.

Sirius was seated next to a blonde girl, their heads close together and talking over the music and laughter. He was playing idly with her hand as they spoke, his finger tracing over hers. Remus hadn't lied when he said Sirius had been lovesick. The man was smitten clearly. Another man was sat at the table, a round pair of glasses perched on his nose, showing a girl with tightly coiled hair a picture of a young woman.

The man with the glasses looked up first and almost dropped the cigarette that was between his lips when his mouth dropped open in a look of awe. He looked her up and down, then over to Remus for a moment before drifting back to her.

" christ. oi... oi Sirius " he smacked Sirius on the arm to get his attention, his eyes still focussed in shock on Nymphadora and Remus " Sirius... oi you ignorant tosser "

" what I'm tryi- well bugger me! " he turned away from the blonde girl finally and had a look of shock to match his friend, his eyebrows flying up.

" Dora, this is Sirius, Marlene and that's james and... sorry love no idea your name don't think we've met " he said and held his hand out to the girl James was talking too. She beamed a smile and shook his hand back.

" Mary Macdonald. Lovely to meet you " the girl, Mary, had a stunning smile. She was truly very beautiful.

They shook hands for a little longer than strictly necessary before Remus pulled away and placed his hand back on Nymphadoras back.

" guys, this is Nymphadora "

Both Sirius and James were looking at her still, Sirius' previous shock now changed to a look that said he was nothing but impressed with Remus. She realised she must feel like Remus had up in the first class dining hall. The odd one out. The strange new person who didn't belong. But Remus had kept his nerves in check, so she would too.

" Its Dora please. It's nice to meet you all " she said with a small smile. Sirius held his hand out to her and she shook it with another smile.

She could feel the eyes of a few other people nearby looking at her, the same way that had when she'd sought out Remus earlier in the day. Like she was some magnificent creature, something that didn't belong.

Remus seemed to notice her awkwardness and clapped his hands together and turned to her, grabbing her hand again.

" right now that's done. Fancy a dance? " she gave a small laugh and shook her head. She was an absolutely awful dancer, always had been. Her brain was far too uncoordinated with her arms and legs to be able to do anything as graceful as dance. And with the dancing that was going on here being far more energetic than a waltz, she was all but certain she'd simply trip and make a fool of herself.

Her mother had put her into dance lessons as a child, she'd only lasted 4 days of ballet before she'd sprained her ankle so badly she'd not been able to walk properly on it for an entire week.

" I'm far too clumsy. I'll watch you " Remus gave her a look that said he really wanted her to have said yes, but it disappeared just as fast and he turned to Mary and held out his hand.

" fancy it Mary? " she nodded enthusiastically and took his hand, he lead her into the throng of others dancing around with no real rhythm or moves. It was just a mass of people having a good time, living their lives to the fullest. Living in the moment.

She felt as if she'd give anything to swap with one of them, to give up the tiresome life she'd become accustomed too. The mindless, numbing chatter about nothing important. The same narrow minded people who thought they were so much better than everyone else around them. What she'd give to be as free as these people, they had next to nothing yet they were happier than any of the people she saw in first class.

" you want a drink? " James said and placed a full glass in front of her before she could answer.

" oh. Thank you " he smiled and stubbed out his cigarette before holding his hand out to her.

" lemme introduce myself properly. James Potter " she shook his hand and gave a small nod towards the dog eared picture he had been showing Mary.

" who is that may I ask? " James beamed a smile at being asked about his picture and passed it over to her. It was a girl with hair as red as Nymphadoras own, she looked like a porcelain doll. All fair skin and large eyes. She couldn't have been much older than her " she's very beautiful "

" I know. It's my girl, Lily. Her parents went to America and I promised her I'd follow her. Going to marry her I am " she passed the photo back and James gazed at it as if he was looking at the most beautiful woman in the world.

She wished someone would look at her like that. Wished that someone that was supposed to marry her would follow her to the ends of the earth to do so. Charlie didn't look at her like that.

She came to realise after a moment that Remus had looked at her like that.

" I'm going to America to wed myself actually " James looked up and raised an eyebrow at her, pushing his glasses back up his nose. She held out her left hand, showing him the giant diamond ring that felt like her own personal set of shackles.

" blimey! Look at that thing, careful you'll take someone's eye out with that " she gave a little laugh and twisted the ring around her finger " so you and Re arent- " he gestured between the two of them and she felt her cheeks prickling with heat.

" oh. Oh no. Not at all no " She turned back to Remus, he was spinning Mary around and had a big smile on his face. She was surprised that she wasn't as offended as she initially thought at the idea of being suspected of having something with Remus.

In fact the idea was kind of nice.

She barely knew Remus. But she was certain he'd never make her do as she was told like Charlie did, wouldn't ever control her. He'd listen. He'd let her be free. They'd travel. Explore. It pained her to realise that she could never actually have that.

It was also in that moment, as she watched Remus holding hands with Mary and flinging their arms around quite wildly, that she was ever so slightly jealous. And mildly regretting her decision to decline his offer to dance. Which was beyond absurd, she had no reason or right to be jealous in any way.

" will you two bloody come up for air for ten seconds? Bleeding christ " She turned away from Remus as James spoke, nodding at Marlene and Sirius who were happily kissing each other at the table.

Another thing she never would have seen in first class. It was almost taboo to actually show you were in love. Which she had always found ridiculous.

" hey, you gonna come dance with me now? " Remus' voice sounded close to her ear and she turned to see him stood back in front of her, leant down so that his face was close to hers. She felt her cheeks warming again.

" I don't dance " Remus raised an eyebrow at her, challenging her.

" scared are you? " she scoffed at that and jutted her chin up in the air.

" absolutely not "

" well. Dance with me then " she let Remus pull her to her feet then and lead her into the space he'd been dancing with Mary in.

" don't you want to keep dancing with Mary. She's very good " Mary was sat in the seat previously occupied by Nymphadora, looking at Remus longingly.

" I wanna dance with you. Why do you think I asked you to come? "

" Remus I _cant "_ he ignored her and flipped his hair away from his eyes with a big grin on his face.

" shush you'll be fine. Look we're gonna have to get a little closer though alright " his arm slipped around her waist, drawing her in closer to him. Her breath hitched in her throat again. He was so close she could feel his breath on her face as he looked down at her. Up so close she noticed how much taller he was then her, almost an entire head taller in fact.

Charlie was much taller than her too. But his presence beside her always made her feel inferior, weak, like a rabbit being stalked by a fox. Remus didn't. He actually made her feel rather safe. Protected.

" that's it there you go " Remus said as he grabbed one of her hands. Sirius was whooping and whistling at them from the table, Remus simply flipped him off and kept his attention on her.

" I don't know the steps " she said a little nervously. Remus simply smiled wider and squeezed her hand.

" no one does. Just go with it. Stop thinking " the song changed and he started to move around with her, spinning her around and pulling her back in close, twisting them around other couples dancing. He held her arm above her head spinning her around and drawing her back into his chest " loosen up Dora. No one cares what you look like or how stupid you think you might look. Just have fun... I know you can "

She was surprised that his words actually did something and she closed her eyes for a second. Then nodded and let him spin her around again, letting herself have the carefree spirit she had longed for for an age.

She watched as Marlene pulled Sirius up to dance too, finally coming up for air clearly.

No one was doing the same dance, but everyone was having fun. Nymphadora too was having the time of her life, a happiness she hadn't felt in so long. She tried to remember every second knowing she might never experience something like this ever again. Tomorrow morning she would be back to her regularly scheduled dull life, no carefree dancing and music that seemed to be getting faster by the minute.

They danced until her clumsy feet finally tripped her up and she stumbled into Remus, laughter spilling from her mouth without a care.

" alright think you need to sit down now" he said with a small chuckle. She was suddenly aware of how unbelievably close their faces were, his hands on her waist.

" yes " they were both just simply looking at each other then, as if trying to remember the there face in detail so that they might never forget. In case this was the last time they would ever get to do it. Remus looked away first and righted her again before leading her back over to their table.

" I think your friend is having a good time " she said and nodded to the corner of the room where Sirius now had Marlene wrapped in his arms, kissing her like she was his source of air.

" hopeless romantic that one.... get in there Sirius! " he cheered and wooped, Sirius simply flipped him off without taking his attention of Marlene for a second, almost exactly the same as they had both done earlier.

" they're very sweet together " she said with a smile, that pang of longing striking her in the chest again as she wished for someone to love her like that.

" hmm if you say so. Fools the pair of em if you ask me " Remus said, leaning back in his chair and lighting a cigarette.

" why do you think that? They're in love"

" love " he scoffed, saying the word like it was the silliest thing he had been heard.

" oh what? Don't you want to be in love. Have you ever? " she asked, generally curious to know why Remus seemed so against falling in love. Also secretly wanting to see if Mary was in his sights now, they'd look good together when they were dancing. And she was beautiful. And his class too.

" I've not " he said with a shrug, still smiling at Sirius and Marlene.

" love is a wonderful thing "

" I'm sure... wonderful with your Charlie is it? " he asked then, turning to look at her with a questioning look on his face.

" it can be complicated too " she said, not directly answering his question.

" I bet " he turned his head as not to blow smoke at her but didn't take his eyes away. He seemed to be almost challenging her, daring her to tell the truth and admit her feelings for Charlie were near non existent. That she would rather launch herself off the back of the ship than marry him.

" don't you want to be in love? " she tried to turn the conversation back towards him and away from her. He simply shrugged.

" it all seems a lot of hassle. Especially if it makes you as dopey as that soppy old sod over there " he said as nodded towards Sirius. He'd finally put Marlene down and they were talking huddled close together, his hand playing with hers again.

" I don't know. I think I'd I rather like someone to look at me in that way " she'd hadn't exactly meant to say that, but found she wasn't too bothered that she had. It wasn't like she'd openly told him of her lack of feelings for her fiancé. Though she guessed it was implied.

" your Charlie doesn't I assume? "

" I'm afraid not "

" bloody fool then if you ask me " she looked back over to him but he was no longer looking at her, feigning interest in a couple dancing instead.

For a man so adamant that he didn't want to be in love he seemed to quite often show that he did. Especially where she was concerned. She tried not to think too much into that.

" what do you mean by that? " he shrugged and his eyes were back on her again, stubbing out his cigarette.

" I told you before. I appreciate beautiful people. Maybe Charlie should too " she took her chance then to ask about Mary again. She wasn't sure why she was suddenly so interested in the idea of Remus falling in love with someone.

" Mary is very beautiful " she tried to sound disinterested as she said it, fiddling with a bead on her dress.

" she is " Remus said a little cautiously and from the corner of her eye she spotted him looking at her with curiosity. She fought the urge to look back up at him " nothing on you though " that made her look back up, her eyes flying to meet his.

" well I- " she stopped mid sentence as she spotted someone stood on the stairs that looked suspiciously like Charlie's valet, Bill, but he disappeared again before she could get a better look. 

It wouldn't surprise her in the slightest if it was Bill. Charlie had a habit of sending Bill to keep an eye on her wherever she went, not that she really ever got to go anywhere unaccompanied. Bill would always be there, slinking around in the corners and making sure Charlie always knew where she was and what she was doing at all times.

She should have expected her freedom in third class to end sooner or later.

" alright? " Remus asked, turning around to see what she was looking at and frowning.

" yes sorry. I though I saw- it doesn't matter.... I think I should be getting back. It's very late now " she didn't want to leave. She didn't want their night to end. But knowing that Bill knew she was here now.... meant Charlie probably would know soon too. And she didn't want him to come down and make a scene.

" yeah alright " he sounded a little disappointed, upset that she was going but stood up. He picked up the suit jacket he'd discarded on the back of a chair earlier in the night " C'mon then. I'll walk you back. Not exactly missing much in here am I? James is pissed and talking to his bloody picture, Sirius is too busy snogging Marlene. Too much love around here for me " she laughed but then nodded and stood up letting him take her hand and lead her out of the party and back up the steps.

It was chilly back up on the upper decks, the middle of the Atlantic Ocean wasn't the warmest of places to be.

" you cold? " he placed his jacket around her shoulders and she gave a small smile in thanks " gotta get it back to Molly anyway, tell her I'll have the rest back tomorrow or something " it was very quiet out, nobody on the decks other than the odd steward or two.

They were getting closer to her cabin now, Remus opening the gate for her to walk up to the first class deck. She stopped for a moment as he closed the gate behind her.

" Dora? " She sighed and pushed a hand through her hair, it had long since fallen out of its updo.

" sorry. I'm just... I had a very good time tonight Remus. Thank you " he put his hands in his pockets and shrugged, he had a habit of that.

" no problem. Looked like you needed a bit of loosening up. No offence but he seems a bit of a tosser your Charlie, you seemed a bit uncomfortable around him" she didn't even try to deny his insults towards her fiancé this time. She wondered if her dislike towards Charlie was so plainly obvious for everyone to see or if Remus had been the only one to pick up on it.

She hoped for the latter.

" it's not just Charlie.... it's he whole lot of them " she walked over to one of the benches lining the deck and sat down with a small sigh. Leaning her head back to look up at the night sky " I don't want this night to end "

" ditto " Remus came to sit beside her, his head tilting back next to hers " do you know much about stars? " he asked, driving the subject away from Charlie again.

" not much "

" good, means you can't correct me if I get something wrong or make it up. I like the stars. Y'know there's one named Sirius? " she laughed and rolled her eyes at that.

" is this an example of you making things up "

" no. Seriously. It's the brightest one. Which shouldn't be surprising should it? Of course the bloke with the name of the brightest star is as self obsessed as that tosser down there snogging the face off of poor Marlene " he laughed and she couldn't help but laugh too, it was infectious.

" my middle name is a star actually. Im not quite sure where it is though, it's absolutely awful " Remus turned his head to look at her then with an _adorable_ little grin on his face.

" go on then. What is it "

" vulpecula " she said with an embarrassed laugh and held her hands over her face.

" christ. What is it with you rich and giving your kids complicated names. Nymphadora Vulpecula Tonks. Blimey "

They stayed out on the deck for a while longer looking at the stars, talking and laughing. until Nymphadora found herself slowly nodding off, her head coming to rest on Remus' shoulder.

" c'mon you. Let's get you back before you pass out and I almost get arrested again " she let him lead her up to the door back inside, dreading that she would soon have to fall asleep and bring this wonderful night to a close.

" g'night Dora. Sleep well yeah " he said, picking up her hand and placing a soft kiss to her knuckles.

" goodnight Remus " she hesitated for a moment before leaning forward and kissing his cheek, hurrying away before she could so something stupid like blush in front of him again.

Though she did chance a glance as she pulled the door closed to see him still stood their with the biggest grin she had ever seen plastered on his face.

***

The following morning Nymphadora was woken by her maid, feeling like she'd barely slept at all. And she didn't think she had. She'd snuck back into her cabin in the early hours after all, thanking god that she had a separate bedroom to Charlie.

She hadn't even gone straight to sleep, had simply lay in bed staring up at the ceiling for ages. Her cheeks had ached from smiling so much and it hadn't left her face even as she lay in bed. She'd never been happier in her entire life.

Her smile soon left though when she realised that she'd only go back to her regular miserable self in the morning when she was thrust back into her days above decks and not below.

" Mr Weasley is already out on the private prom miss, he's asking after you. I tried to let you sleep as long as possible " Penny said as she woke Nymphadora up, opening the curtains over the windows and placing the simple dress she'd wear for breakfast on the foot of the bed.

Nymphadora held back the urge to sigh and slipped out of bed, letting Penny help her dress and trying to prepare herself for whatever mood Charlie would be in today. If it had been Bill she'd seen last night then odds were he'd be in a foul mood. Which wasn't much of a change really.

" thank you Penny " Nymphadora said to her maid as she finished getting dressed. 

" would you like me to escort you miss? "

" no no. I can walk a few metres by myself " she said it a little harsher than she meant, her few hours of freedom last night were clearly getting to her now. Or realising that she wouldn't get that again any time soon. If ever " I'm sorry Penny I didn't mean- "

" it's quite alright miss " Penny busied herself making the bed and getting things ready for when Nymphadora would return after breakfast. she headed out to the private promenade then, Charlie was already sat at the breakfast table with his usual miserable face.

Just as she'd expected.

" good morning " she greeted him as the butler serving them pulled out her chair for her to sit down. He didn't look up at her straight away, glaring at his tea cup and stirring it for far longer than necessary.

The tension felt so thick that she felt like she could cut it with a knife. Maybe he had heard her sneak in late last night, maybe she hadn't been as quiet as she thought. Or maybe Bill had already fed back what he had seen last night.

" nice of you to join me " he said slightly bitterly and looked up at her finally, sipping his tea " you can leave us now " he said turning to the butler who poured Nymphadora her own cup of tea before dismissing himself.

" im sorry, I was very tired. Penny thought best to let me sleep " the tension was starting to make her uncomfortable and she felt unbelievably hot, even with the windows pulled open and the cool morning breeze filtering through.

" I hoped you would have joined me in my room last night. Maybe if you had you would have woken at a more decent time " Charlie had been trying to coax her into his bed even before they had stepped foot on the Titanic , but he was becoming more persistent. Her excuses of trying to remain true to her faith were beginning to wear thin with him now.

" I am saving myself, you know that " she said, a little embarrassed at having such a conversation over breakfast and stirred an extra sugar into her tea.

She knew it was expected of her. It was what was done. He was going to be her husband in less than a months time, it would have to happen at some point. But she was going to put it off for as long as she could. Because there was something that made her feel that the second she gave herself to him... she'd be his. Completely. Owned almost. He already treated her as if she was simply just a piece of his property. She didn't need that amplifying.

she would hold off on that for as long as she could for now.

" we are to be married in only a few weeks, I'm sure that God would not mind a few weeks " she glanced up at him to find him already looking at her over the rim of his tea cup.

His eyes were cold and she couldn't help but compare them to the eye of Remus. There was no denying that Charlie was an attractive man, but those eyes. They were almost snake like at times. They didn't seem to hold an ounce of warmth. Or love.

Remus was quite the opposite. His eyes looked as if they'd never held even a speck of coldness or hatred. They were warm, loving. They looked at her as if she were the most wonderful creature to step foot on the face of the earth.

" I. I was very tired " she repeated with a weak smile and fidgeted with her hands in her lap.

" yes I bet your galavanting below deck was tiring " her eyes darted up to look at him again as he said that. So he hadnt just heard her coming in late. There was her confirmation that it definitely was Bill she had spotted. He'd known where she had been and most likely who she had been with too. He wouldn't be happy. At all. No wonder he'd seemed so miserable.

" I see you had one of your little slaves follow me around again how typical. Bill I assume? " Bill was Charlie's valet who constantly followed him around and did everything he asked like a dog. Including constantly keeping a very close eye on Nymphadora.

" you wont behave that away again Nymphadora. Do you understand me? Do you think rebelling against me is the correct way to behave? " she hated when he used that tone of voice with her, that demanding tone that made her feel like a naughty child.

" maybe you should stop allowing Bill to follow me around everywhere I go and I won't have cause to rebel. Though I will say that I wasn't rebelling in the first place. Mr Lupin is my friend and I am allowed to have friends and see them too. I wasn't doing anything wrong " she wasn't sure where she'd suddenly found the courage to stand up for her self. It was quite liberating, Scary too but liberating all the same.

" you are my fiancé I have a right to know where you are and what you are doing. Especially if you are doing things so unbecoming as making a fool of yourself with some gutter rat below decks " his voice was getting sterner, louder. He'd always had a short temper and she was pushing him towards the end of it. She knew she should stop. Should apologise for her poor behaviour and promise to make it up to him, carry on with her day like the perfect little fiancé she was meant to be , go to afternoon tea and talk about her bridesmaid dresses with her mother.

But she couldn't. Remus had awoken something inside of her, a confidence she'd left dormant for so long that she had forgotten it existed anymore.

" don't call him that. Mr Lupin is a very kind man. He saved my life "

" yes. The apparent hero of the hour isn't he " he placed his tea cup down so harshly she was surprised it didn't shatter, his teaspoon clattering to the floor.

" and what is that supposed to mean? "

" very odd isn't it Nymphadora that you apparently slipped so suddenly yet he still managed to grab you back over the rails.... do you see why I have to have Bill looking over you all the time now? Your eye seems to be wondering, I don't know what is gotten into you "

" how... how dare are you suggest- "

" you won't behave like that again Nymphadora" she gave a small scoff at that.

" I am not one of the men working in your mills, you can't command me. I am your fiancé not an employee Charlie " Charlie chuckled dryly before standing and slamming his hands onto the table so suddenly that she startled, shrinking down into her chair. Her confidence well and truly gone.

" yes you are my fiancé! " he tossed the table completely out of the way, sending the plates and glasses clattering to the ground, leaning down on the arms of her chair and he leered over her. He'd never gotten this angry with her before, even in the times he'd raised his hand to her he'd never been so loud. His face inches from hers and twisted into a scowl " you are my fiancé so you will honour me do you understand?! You are my wife, however in practice. So you. Will. Honour me like it. You will not see that man again Nymphadora and you will not carry on behaving in the way of some common whore. Is that clear? "

Her heart pounded in her chest so hard it was almost painful, tears pooling in her eyes and she shrank lower in her chair.   
" I said is that clear! "

" yes " she choked out, the tears that had been pooling in her eyes with fear finally dropping over her cheeks. Charlie stood straight again, pulling his jacket straight and looked down at her like he had never been so disgusted in his entire life.

" get changed. You're a mess. You have a tour with the captain today you need to be presentable " he muttered before walking off. She let out a breath she hadn't totally realised she'd been holding as he left. Penny came running over and she stood from her chair, falling to her knees and picking up glass and broken pieces of China with shaking hands.

" I. I'm sorry Penny, we. We had an accident I'm sorry. Penny I'm - "

" miss.... miss... calm down. It's okay miss. It's okay " she dropped the glass and sobbed into her hands.

How had gone from being so purely and blissfully happy last night, to this. A pathetic sobbing mess on the floor surrounded by shattered China and spilled tea.

Penny placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed softly. Penny had seen the aftermath of Charlie's temper many times before, was one of the only people Nymphadora actually could tell about it all. But she couldn't find the words now.

" We can't tell my mother about this " she sniffled, pulling herself together and wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand.

" of course miss. Not a word....let's get you a new dress. Sunday service starts soon and Mr Weasley informed me you have a private tour today " she looked down at her current tea stained dress and gave a small nod.

" yes. Okay " she got to her feet, her legs shaking slightly, and let Penny guide her back inside with a gentle hand on her arm.

Neither of them spoke as Penny helped her out of her stained dress and started lacing her into her corset. She could do nothing but replay the scene from breakfast in her head. How was she supposed to live the rest of her life with that man? Maybe he would change after they were married but how was she to know if that was true?

Part of her wished she could go back to that night she'd hung off the back of the ship. Wished she had just let go. She'd be free then. Wouldn't have to spend another second in this trapped existence that she was currently living.

But then again she would never have met Remus. Though maybe that would have been for the best after all. If she had never met Remus she wouldn't have gone down to third class last night, wouldn't have angered Charlie, wouldn't have been shouted at and scared over breakfast.

But she'd be dead.

There was a knock on the door to Nymphadoras bedroom then and Andromeda entered the room.

" tea please Penny "

" yes miss " Penny gave a quick gentle squeeze to Nymphadoras arm before hurrying out of the door, which Andromeda locked behind her.

" good morning mother " she said softly as Andromeda took over from Penny in lacing up her corset, tugging much harder than Penny had. She wondered if she knew what had happened at breakfast. She hoped not. Though she probably wouldn't even care anyway, would simply blame the entire situation on Nymphadora like she so often did.

" I know what you were up to last night and you're not to see that boy again Nymphadora. I forbid it " she said as a form of greeting and caught Nymphadoras eye in the mirror that she was stood in front of.

" oh relax a little mother, you'll give yourself a nose bleed " Andromeda grabbed her arms harshly and spun her around to face her.

" this is not a game Nymphadora. You know our situation is precarious. You know the money is gone " she hissed in a voice almost as stern as Charlie's. Her father wouldn't have stood for that, Ted Tonks was a kind man. Had treated Nymphadora like the most precious being alive, Andromeda too. But her mother had become cold and harsh since he had died. She wasn't the woman she used to be.

" of course I know. You seem to take pride in reminding me every single day "

" your father...your father Left us with nothing. Nothing but debts. Debts hidden by a good name. That name is all we have left and I won't let you scorn it by playing pretend with some commoners below deck " Nymphadora scoffed and shook her head. Why was it that everyone around her wanted to control her.

" I'm allowed to have friends mother. You sound so like Charlie "

" you should listen to Charlie more, show a little respect for him..... it's a fine match with him Nymphadora. The Weasley name is a powerful one, it will secure a safe future for the both of us " that seemed to be all she cared about. Not if her only daughter was actually happy, heaven forbid Andromeda actually show some kind of affection for her daughter now.

" how can you put this all on me mother... how can you put our futures on my shoulders. You are the mother here, you are supposed to be the leader. The one in charge. How can you leave it to me to fix this. This isn't my doing"

" why are you being so selfish "

" _I'm_ being selfish? " she said with a laugh " really? Marrying a man I barely know and letting go of any chance I may have wanted to do what I pleased and to love who I please makes me selfish? " her mother frowned

" to deny this marriage would make you selfish... you would want to see all our belongings sold at auction so we could afford to live? See me work as a seamstress? " she actually looked as if she might cry then and Nymphadora couldn't tell if she was just pretending for sympathy or not.

" of course not " her voice softened at the sadness in her mother's eyes, realisation at how selfish she _was_ being washing over her.

" then do your part Nymphadora. Pushing Charlie away is not doing your part. Dallying around with that Lupin boy is not doing your part. Promise me you won't see him again Nymphadora "

The look on her mother's face was almost desperate, Begging, hoping her daughter would finally snap out of the rebellious mood she had fallen into since stepping foot on the ship. It was in that moment that Nymphadora realised this was real life. Just because she was on the ocean rather than solid ground it don't mean she wasn't living real life. And she was to marry Charlie. There was no way out of that. It was what was to be done. What needed to be. What was going to be done whether she liked it or not. And daydreaming along with Remus was not going to help make it any easier.

" I won't see him again "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this chap! comments/feedback would be lovelyyyy
> 
> see you next monday!!   
> ~messrmoonyy


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Titanic unknowingly sees light for the final time

There was a knock on Nymphadoras bedroom door as she sat fiddling with her hair at her dresser. Andromeda had left her alone after their conversation about Remus, she'd said she'd leave her with her thoughts. Give her time to think. Which hadnt really been a good thing, she'd simply sat mentally saying goodbye to any hope of a free future with herself. And trying to figure out the best way to avoid Remus for the rest of the journey. It would be easier than saying goodbye to his face.

There was another knock and then Charlie's head appeared around the door. She looked at him through the mirror but found she couldn't meet his eye, looking back down at the Ivory hairbrush in her hands instead. Her brain was still replaying the images from breakfast.

He'd never scared her so badly as then.

" I came to see if you are ready for service " he actually gave her a small smile. His post argument routine was in full effect clearly. Always the same. He would go crawling back and try to make her see how sorry he was, promise her her never raise his voice again, be only did it because she wouldn't listen. And on and on.

" almost " she said quietly and pulled the brush though her wild hair again, needing to occupy her hands. He stepped further into the room and closed the door behind him, coming up behind her with a hand on her shoulder. She tried not to tense up to much at his touch.

" I apologise for my outburst at breakfast " she looked up at him in the mirror to see he was already looking at her reflection " youre not yourself just lately....look Nymphadora.... I know you've been down recently I don't pretend to know why you have gotten yourself in such a melancholy mood. But I want to help. I do " he moved to lean on the edge of her dresser, bringing a hand up to tuck his fingers under her chin to make her look at him.

She had to force herself not to compare his gaze to that of Remus. It was odd though because Charlie was her fiancé, was supposed to be the love of her life and her to be his. Yet his eyes didn't seem to hold that supposed love at all... but she had seen it in Remus' eyes. He had looked at her as if she was the only woman to walk the earth.

" I'm just rather homesick " she lied.

" your home is America now. You won't be homesick soon " she knew she would. She'd visited America countless times, they'd even had two houses in states on complete opposite ends of the country. They had been sold once Ted had passed away of course. But England was her home. It always would be.

" I know that. But I will miss England. A great deal " Charlie gave a small nod and then moved his hand away and pulled something out from his jacket. A large square jewellery box

" maybe this will cheer you up... I had intended to gift this to you at the engagement gala next week. But maybe it will lighten your mood today " he opened the box and Nymphadora couldn't help but gasp at the necklace inside. It glittered beautifully in the light coming though the windows.

" good gracious " the diamond was enormous, easily the size of the palm of her hand. She'd never been one for flaunting her wealth like her mother had. She'd had countless pieces of expensive jewellery but she never opted for the larger pieces. She didn't like to shove her wealth down everyone's throats.

" perhaps this will serve as a reminder of my feelings for you Nymphadora. My love " he didn't love her she was certain, simply loved the idea of her. What she would offer.

" it's a diamond? " she asked still in awe of the necklace before her and not wanting to discuss Charlie's love for her or lack there of.

" yes " he moved to stand behind her, clasping the giant jewel around her neck. It was heavy. She couldn't help but feel as if this were simply her second set of shackles. She knew she had to stop thinking like that, Charlie was her future. Whether she liked it or not. And he seemed to be trying at least. She owed him the same " it was worn. By king Louis himself....they called it ' La Coeur de la Mer ' "

" the heart of the ocean? "

" exactly " it must have cost a fortune. Maybe he was feeling guilty for breakfast and was trying to earn her forgiveness with the gift. Or maybe he was just simply trying to flash around his money like he so loved to do, would get her to wear it to dinner and brag about how he had gifted it to her, have everyone in awe of his money and generosity.

As if bragging about the amount of Weasley steel in the ship, or his many many mills, his homes, wasn't enough for him.

" well? "

" it's overwhelming " she said honestly, looking in the mirror at the jewel sparkling around her neck. She couldn't truly figure out if it was a genuine from the heart gift. A way to apologise for being so cruel and to earn her respect back. Or just Charlie being Charlie.

" it's for royalty " he said simply and then moved to crouch down beside her, leaning an arm on her dresser " we are royalty Nymphadora..... which brings me to what I wanted to tell you earlier. I apologise for losing my temper with you. But we must remember our place. Im asking you now, not instructing, if you will not see that pathetic third class passenger again "

He was certainly asking her in a more calming way than he had at the breakfast table, clearly realising that tact might not work so well on her. But what was she to do now? She had already promised her mother not to see him again. So of course she had to promise him the same. Which almost felt like a victory on his part.

" I won't. I'm not sure what came over me.... wedding nerves, the sea air. Must be making me giddy " she said with a small laugh and Charlie cracked a small smile, reaching out for her hand.

" I care for you Nymphadora, I do, I'm only looking out for the best for you "

" l know that " her hand didn't feel right in his. Not after it had seemed to fit so perfectly in Remus'.

" you know there's nothing I wouldn't give you... nothing I'd deny you. If you won't deny me.... you don't have to go searching for comfort in the form of another man " she knew what he was hinting towards again and she came to realise that she no longer had excuses. She couldn't make anymore. She was to marry Charlie. And that was that.

Charlie gave her hand a small squeeze before standing up again and placed the necklace back into its box " Wear it for dinner tonight... I'll put it into the safe for now " it was almost an odd thing to see Charlie being so nice to her " I'll be back in 5 minutes to escort you to service " he then disappeared out of the room and closed the door behind him.

He had then stayed in his seemingly pleasant mood for the rest of the morning. He had escorted her to Sunday service, been all smiles and complimented her dress, he had even offered to hold her hymn book for her.

She tried to remain polite herself. But her mind was reeling. Every time she tried to remain happy and force herself to accept her future, her brain would be filled with the ever repeating images of Charlie leering over her only hours before. She couldn't help but wonder what he might do next time. Yes he was being kind to her now but who was to say that would last? She knew he wasn't above hitting women when they 'deserved it'. He'd done it before once. But she'd never seen him so angry as she had at breakfast.

And she realised it was because no one had ever stood up to him, no one had shown a confidence to fight their own corner. Nymphadora had tried to fight for her control again and he hadn't liked it. He craved control. Power. She had gone with him for a tour around one of his mills before and had watched how his ego seemed to inflate tenfold just stepping though the door. He seemed to relish in the way his workers shrunk away from him in fear, submit to his prowess.

He craved authority. The power to have others submit to his very whim. Clearly he had thought he would get that from Nymphadora too. She guessed that eventually he would, she wouldn't be able to keep up with her confident persona for the rest of her life if he was bartering her down every day.

She knew that was her future for certain because of course there was the conversation with her mother, which too had been on an interchangeable loop inside of her brain all morning.

She'd promised not to see Remus again. Promised Charlie too. Which in all honesty wouldn't be too difficult from an outsiders perspective. They were wildly different classes and she had entire sections of the ship that Remus couldn't step foot in. But that was the outside. On the inside she was screaming, her heart aching at the thought of never getting to talk to him again or see that silly little grin of his. Which was absurd when she through about it, they hadn't even known each other a week yet.

But inside she could feel something in her chest, longing. A most desperate need to be beside him, to hear his voice and see his eyes. She felt so unbelievably safe around him, like she was untouchable. She couldn't help but daydream of a future she knew they couldn't have.

She knew that she had to remain true to her word and not see him again. What she wanted didn't matter, it was what was good for her family. And marrying Charlie was what was good for her family. Besides, Remus would probably fall in love with someone of his own class. Maybe he'd end up with Mary and become a lovesick fool like Sirius had with Marlene. She told herself that that was what she wanted. That was what Remus deserved.

Even though it was breaking her heart.

Charlie was her future. Not Remus. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if Charlie would stay in the current mood he was in. Part of her wanted to hope his happier mood meant he felt guilty for shouting at her over breakfast. But it was always the same routine.

His seemingly kind mood remained after the service too, escorting her and her mother to meet the captain of the Titanic for their tour.

The captain himself had only lead their tour for the first ten minutes or so before having to deal with a problem among his staff and the managing director of the entire construct of the ship, Albus Dumbledore, had taken over. Albus had joined Nymphadora and her family at dinner a few times and he was a pleasant enough man.

He spoke about his work on Titanic with such pride that you couldn't help but smile with him. She actually thought that perhaps it should have been Mr Dumbledore leading the tour all along. He seemed to know every rivet and bolt, every steel panel and metal rung in the entire ship. Charlie of course couldn't help himself and took his own chance to boast that half the steel used in the ship was Weasley steel.

Which Albus already knew of course and seemed to take great pride in tell Charlie exactly how much was used and where it was used in particular.

" I even lead the testing of these here lifeboats. Not that you'll be needing them of course " Albus said as they came to stop beside one of the very few lifeboats lining that particular part of the deck.

The lifeboats themselves had been a bit of a concern to Nymphadora. She'd always had a secret fear of finding herself on a sinking ship and always made sure she knew her route to a lifeboat on every ship she sailed upon. Though she had noticed one thing in particular with the Titanics. There didn't seem to be very many. Some ships she had sailed on before had entire sections of deck that you couldn't even walk through because of lifeboats. There was no such thing on the Titanic.

" excuse me if I'm wrong Mr Dumbledore. But I did some sums in my head. And If I'm correct then there aren't actually enough lifeboats to fit all of the passengers on board " she said, managing to cut Charlie off before he went on another tyrant about his steel.

" you miss nothing do you Nymphadora" he said with a smile and a slightly impressed look on his face " your sums are correct. There aren't enough. Not by half. I had specially designed these decks to fit an entire second row of life boats to accommodate the vast number of passengers. But it was thought by some that they would simply make the decks looks too cluttered. So my points were overruled in the final decision making process "

" all they do is take up room on an unsinkable ship as it is " said Charlie with a chuckle which Andromeda joined him on.

" don't worry miss Nymphadora, I've built you a good ship. She's strong and true, she'll get you to America safely " he gave her another smile and started walking off along the deck again " ok next stop is the engine rooms! " Charlie and her mother walked off ahead and she went to follow on but heard someone whispering her name.

" Dora.... psst. Oi, Dora over here " she turned around with a frown to see who exactly it was, only to see Remus peeking out from the gymnasium door with his face half hidden by a top hat.

" Remus? " she said in a questioning whisper and turned around to make sure no one was watching her before hurrying into the room with him " Remus what are you doing here I can't see " she said with a small sigh as he closed the door behind her and tossed the hat to the floor.

What was she even doing in there with him. She'd promised her mother she wouldn't see him again. Someone would notice she wasn't following behind any second too. She shook her head slightly and turned to leave but he grabbed ahold of her hand. She had come to notice that he always went for her hand, never her arm like Charlie did. A far gentlied way of pulling her attention.

" please just lemme talk to you for a minute "

" Remus this is impossible. I can't see you anymore. We can't see each other now " he looked at her with pleading eyes and she felt as if she were about to kick a puppy. But she had made a promise. It didn't matter how badly she simply wanted to stay hidden away in that room for a while longer and listen to him talk. She couldn't.

" Dora I have to talk to yo-"

" no Remus. Look. I'm engaged, it's improper for me to be seeing you like this anymore. I'm marrying Charlie, I love Charlie. I do and to even entertain a friendship with you is being disloyal to my family and the promises I've made them.... I have to put Charlie first. My mother " the words felt so wrong inside her mouth, the lies almost leaving a bitter taste on her tongue. But she knew in time she would come to believe her own lies.

That's the way things went.

" you deserve so much better than him. Dora you know you do " he said, annoyance slipping into words and he ran a hand through his messy hair. She desperately ignored her own longing to run her hands through it for him.

" Remus "

" Look you're not exactly a picnic Dora, You're a spoiled fucking brat honestly. But you're the most amazing woman that I've ever met and I can't let you just go through with this marriage. I can't " her heart was racing in her chest, beating so fast it was sending her dizzy. This wasn't helping. He wasn't helping. She had to go. She needed to get out of there before she did something silly like kiss him.

" Remus I- "

" let me get this out Dora. Look. You're amazing, you are. I know I'm nothing compared to some of the men your folks know. I have barely a tenner to my name, I don't even have a home right now, I've got the clothes on my back and that's about it. I don't have anything to give you I really don't. But I'm too involved now to just walk away from you. I don't know if I'm in love, I've never been in love. I don't get it. But I know there's something Dora. And I know you feel something as well. You and I it's just.... you jump i jump remember.... you can't just push me away now "

She didn't know whether she wanted to scream or to cry. So it hadn't just been her that had that strange longing feeling bubbling in her chest. He had felt it too. Those looks that he had given her when they danced. The way he'd held her close.

Letting him go would have been so much easier if she'd hadn't have known that.

" me and you... it's impossible you must know that Remus " he reached a hand up to touch her face, she couldn't help but lean into his touch.

" I cant just walk out on you now. On us. Whatever this even is that we have. I won't leave unless I know you'll be alright and I know you aren't " he said and cupped her face in both of his hands.

He was always so gentle with her, so careful.

" I'm fine. Just fine. I'll be fine " she said quietly not even really believing in it herself. Because part of her couldn't help but wonder after the events of breakfast if she ever really would be fine around Charlie. How much further would that mans temper go? Would it be her being thrown across the room next instead of a breakfast table? Would it be her head smashing to the floor instead of the China teacups? How was she to know. Not that she could tell Remus that of course " Really I will "

" they have you trapped Dora. You're strong, there's a fire in you. I see it. You don't want this life, you don't wanna be some little trophy wife. You can do greater things and you will if you just listen to me. Dora you have to break free and if you don't everything that I love about you is going to burn out. They're crushing you. Moulding you. Dora they control you " She shook her head and turned her face away from his grasp, closing her eyes for a second " the worst part is is that you know it too. You see it happening, you told me yourself you're screaming and no one is listening. You're watching your own life fade away before your eyes and you'll die if you don't get out now "

He had read her like a book. He was the first person that she had ever met that truly seemed to understand her. He seemed to voice her thoughts before she'd even truly thought them herself. He understood. And he wanted a better future for her than the one she was being forced to have.

The most painful part was knowing that if she really really wanted to she could have that. She could run away with Remus the second the ship docked. But why would become of her mother then?

Her own wants and feelings meant nothing compared to the duty she owed her mother.

" It's not up to you to save me remus" she said in almost a whisper, knowing that she was pushing away her one and only chance at escaping.

" only you can do that. You're right " she gave herself one last look at him and then stood straighter. It was time for her to do the role she had been born to do and to stop being as selfish as her mother had said she was.

She could wish for a life with Remus Lupin as much as she wanted but she was never to have it. Her life belonged to Charlie now, her future. And nothing could change that, she had no power to change it. And even if she did... she couldn't.

" I can't see you anymore, there are things about my life that you will never truly understand. I don't expect you to either. I ask you politely to leave me alone and I hope you have safe travels once we dock in New York.....I wish you a happy and safe future in whatever endeavours you choose.....Goodbye Remus " she slipped away from him before he could say another word to her and she forced herself not to cry, exiting the room in a hurry and rushing down the decks in search of her mother and Charlie.

****

It was later in the day when she realised the mistake she had made in listening to her mother. How foolish she had been to let her one chance of freedom escape her.

Remus' words kept replaying in her head. How her fire would burn out if she stayed with Charlie and it made her realise that it was true. Her worst fears of becoming that pathetic little wife would be hers if she didn't run now.

The real kicker had been when she was sat at afternoon tea with her mother, Narcissa and some of the other women that she had befriended that Nymphadora didn't care to learn the names of. They were talking about the wedding. The same mindless chatter she'd heard a thousand times, what colour roses would she carry, what colour would her bridesmaids wear, who did they expect to bring the most lavish gift. It was mind numbing. She had been silently nodding along and she had heard a small clatter as a spoon had fallen to the floor.

A young girl sat at the table next to Nymphadoras had let it slip from the table and her mother was scolding her, pushing and pressing at her to sit straighter, to right her hat and use her napkin correctly. She'd seen it a million times, it had happened to her too. That poor girl was going to be raised to the same dull existence as her. It all seemed to hit her at once that for so many years she hadn't felt like she had a way out.

But she did now. She had a way to live the life she wanted to. A way to escape. And she had pushed it away.

She watched as the little girls smile slipped from her face when her mother turned away to ask for more tea. Nymphadoras own children would be raised that way too. The endless cycle would just continue to loop.

Unless.

Unless she put a stop to it, followed her own dreams. Her own path. Thought her own thoughts. Loved who she wanted and not because they had boat loads of money.

Remus had nothing. Nymphadora too would have nothing if she ran. They'd be equals, in love just because they had seen what was inside and adored it. Not because they could buy the other gold and jewels. It would take some getting used to but she was sure she'd get used to it in time. It sounded like an adventure. Which her life had so lacked up until now.

The little girl was getting scolded again, this time for being too messy with her slice of cake. Andromeda was looking at her too and tutting, whispering to Narcissa about her. She was just a little girl. In the prime of her childhood, yet it was being torn away from her. She deserved to eat her cake messily, to run around and toss her hat off and feel the breeze through her hair, walk barefoot in grass. But she'd never get that.

Nymphadora almost laughed at herself when she realised she wanted those things too.

Remus would give her those things, let her be that free. She could picture it.

" excuse me, For a moment I'd just like to get some air " she said suddenly and stood up from the table before anyone of them could stop her, hurrying out of the dining hall and heading down to the third class deck. The sun was setting now and she had to find him before it went dark. She couldn't go back into that damned first class dinner hall and pretend she was okay when she wasn't at all.

" oh! Oh Sirius! Sirius! " she called as she spotted the long haired man on a bench, Marlene perched on his lap, and hurried over to him hoping she didn't look too manic " Sirius! I'm so sorry to interrupt, truly "

" oh, alright Dora? " Sirius said, a smitten look on his face as he dragged his eyes away from Marlene.

" I was wondering, have you seen Remus? Its important that I see him " Marlene was twirling a strand of his hair around her finger and Sirius was clearly desperate to revert his attention back to her again.

" oh I have, he was heading up to the front, see if he could see any more dolphins " Marlene said and pulled Sirius' attention back to her, her fingers pushing at his jaw so he'd turn to her again he didn't need much convincing.

Nymphadora ran off immediately and headed for the front of the ship, holding her skirt so she didn't trip and fall. The decks were starting to clear out, people were probably heading to their rooms to dress for dinner. So she spotted Remus easily.

He was stood up by the railings, looking up at the horizon ahead of him.

" Marlene told me I'd find you here " she said softly but loud enough for him to hear. He didn't turn his head as she spoke " I. I wanted to talk to you about our conversation earlier. I changed my mind Remus. About what I said I- "

" shhh " He said and finally turned his head slightly. He had a small smile playing on his lips. Almost like he knew she would show up eventually and come to her senses, like he'd been waiting for her " come here " he held out his hands to her and she frowned " come on. Don't you trust me? "

" I do " she said without a second of thought needed.

" then c'mere " she walked over to him, taking his outstretched hand " that's it, stand right here " she stood in the place previously occupied by him and he moved to stand behind her. His chest was pressed to her back and she hoped he couldn't feel how fast her heart was pounding. She turned her head to him a little, knowing she was just going to get too distracted and not say what she wanted to say to him.

" Remus- "

" shhh. Just close your eyes " he said softly, his mouth close to her ear. It sent a small shiver along her spine.

" what? "

" close your eyes. Come on it's okay " she hesitated for a moment but then closed her eyes " okay, now step up. I've got you. Promise "

" Remus we need to talk I- "

" shush. Not now. you trust me? " He cut her off again, his mouth still pressed to the shell of her ear. His breath tickled at her skin.

" I trust you " she said without hesitation and stepped up onto the bottom rung of the rail. Remus stayed close behind her, pressing his chest closer to her back.

" keep your eyes closed okay. No peeking " his hands were on her waist now, his fingertips pressing softly into her skin. She guessed she should be scared of falling, going overboard. But he made her feel unbelievably safe. Even with the wind blowing at her and her lack of vision.

" I'm not peeking " Remus kept a grip on her and then trailed his hands up to her arms, not taking his hands off of her for a second. Making sure she knew he hadn't ran off and left her. He raised her arms up and out, stretching them beside her.

" keep them there " he trailed his hands back to her waist again, not removing his touch from her for even a second. Still making sure she knew he wasn't about to let her go. That she was safe " now open your eyes " Dora opened her eyes and saw nothing but the open sea in front of her. The wind still blowing at her softly, but now making her feel as if she was floating. Not standing on the boat any longer.

Free.

" it's like. I'm flying " she whispered. Remus nodded and moved his arms up to mirror hers, holding onto her hands. 

This was what she had wanted. Freedom. Freedom with Remus.

" amazing right " Remus said softly right by her ear, sending a stream of shivers along her spine again. Her face beamed into a smile and she gave a small nod. All of these magnificent things she had seen in the last few days, she'd never have gotten to see them if it wasn't for Remus.

" yes " she turned her head to look at him as he smiled at her and brought their arms down back down to her waist, their fingers lacing together " it's quite remarkable isn't it " she said so quietly it was barely audible, unable to tear her eyes away from his. She felt like she was drowning in them.

The ship may as well have been sinking, because she was a goner. Well and truly.

She got that feeling in her chest again. A feeling she never felt when she looked at Charlie. She still wasn't exactly sure what it was. Love? Maybe. She didn't know for certain. But it was something. And something was worth following.

" yes, almost struggle to find the right words to describe it don't you " he replied, just as softly as she had. Something was building. She could feel it.

" I wasn't... I wasnt talking about the view now "

" neither was I " The time seemed almost frozen for a moment, and it was just the two of them. And her harsh words to Remus from earlier completely vanished into thin air. And the real reason she was aboard the ship vanished with it " but earlier you said- "

" I know. But I figured life really is for living isn't it? I don't want to become the same brain dead little wife that I've seen so many others become. I don't want to have to raise my own children like that. I want to be free. I want to go to those piers like you said, ride horses along the beach and walk barefoot in the sand. And I want to do it with you "

He didn't say anything in response, instead he leant in and her breath hitched as his lips pressed to hers. So gentle she barely felt it at first. It was over just as quickly and he looked at her for a moment as he pulled away, as if he was waiting for her to push him way and storm off. But she wasn't about to do anything of the sort and she simply smiled before leaning in herself. She felt as if she was melting into Remus, like every single nerve in her body was awakening.

She had kissed Charlie before, of course she had, but it had never felt even remotely close to this. She doubted it ever would. She lifted a hand to cup at Remus' face and his arms tightened around her waist. It was like the world had stopped. Like nothing or no one could ruin this moment.

She turned in his arms, wrapping her arms around his neck and not parting her lips from his for barely a second. He held her close, as if he never wanted to let her go.

She decided that this was what freedom felt like.

" I'm assuming that's a yes " she said softly when she pulled back slightly, her breath coming out in small puffs that matched his own.

" course it bloody is " his face cracked into a smile and she couldn't help but smile too, then they were laughing in complete utter joy. She lifted her hand to push his hair away from his forehead, she knew she should be wracked with guilt.

She was an engaged woman. Who had just kissed another man. But she didn't feel guilty in the slightest.

" what happens now Remus " she asked, honestly needing some form of confirmation. It wasn't like she was in such a position everyday.

" I.... I don't really know. There's still a few days until we dock... we have to be normal until then? Charlie.. " she gave a small nod and in the distance she heard the the usual over dramatic fanfare in fist class to signify dinner. She couldn't just go and sit with her family now though.

" don't make me go back yet " she said softly. Someone would come looking for her soon though.

" not gonna " he kept his arms around her and looked around at the deck behind him, clearly he had the same thought that she had. She was almost waiting for Bill to appear " we should move though. Sure your bloody fiancé is gonna be looking for you soon. You hungry? Sure I can sneak you into the third class dining hall. Won't even think to look there for you "

They made a rather cautious walk to the third class dining hall, Remus holding tightly to her hand and constantly making sure no one was following them. When they arrived Sirius looked between the two of them with a raised eyebrow to Remus, he had two plates in his hands that he almost dropped at the sight of Nymphadora and Remus' own interlocked fingers. Marlene was by his side looking simply overjoyed to see the two of them.

" hello again " Marlene said with a smile as she moved to sit down at the table, tugging on Sirius' arm for him to sit too. He was still looking a little shocked even as he placed a plate down in front of Marlene and then at his place.

" hello again " Dora returned as Remus held her hand to help her sit down at the long bench.

" aye! Dora! You alright? " James practically tackled her into a side hug as he slid into the bench beside her, his glasses almost falling off his face " fancy a change from eating pure gold aye? " she gave a small laugh and Remus slapped the side of his head.

Remus seemed to have made his own little family onboard, and they seemed far closer than Nymphadoras own birth family were.

" gonna get you some food, back in a minute alright? " Remus said, leaning down close to her ear. He hesitated for a small moment then pressed a quick kiss to her cheek before hurrying off to grab them something to eat.

" blimey " Sirius said through a mouthful of mashed potatoes " you and Re huh? Fuck it " he reached into his pocket and tossed a coin towards James who looked pretty pleased with himself.

" thank youu! "

" piss off, smug tosser " James shoved the money into his pocket and took a large bite of some bread

" told you he's not as cold hearted as you think all that 'love is bullshit' talk was just that. Talk " he said as he ate.

She got the idea that she had been a prominent topic of conversation between the group. Which was actually rather nice to think about because I meant Remus had been talking fondly of her, which was further reassurance that his feelings for her were as great as her own were getting.

" stop being weird " Remus muttered under his breath as he returned to the table and placed a plate down " wouldn't let me bring two, but we can share yeah? " he sat down beside her and she could feel people staring at her again. But Sirius, James and Marlene all seemed to now be accepting her as... normal. One of their own. A part of their little family.

Mary appeared too after a few minutes and everyone split off into their own conversations. It was all so friendly, no one was comparing their wealth, bragging about their new summer house or their new racehorse. 

" you okay? " Remus asked her, nudging her slightly. She looked around again and couldn't stop the smile tugging at her lips. She'd never imagined she could be even close to okay sat in a third class dining hall, surrounded by people she'd met only days ago but felt so much more comfortable around than people she'd known her entire life. But she was. She felt happy. Safe.

It was the simple things. She didn't need an elaborate dinner. Elaborate clothes. Or money. Or rich and royal friends. She needed Remus.

" more than okay " she reached over and grabbed his hand, scooting a little closer to him on the bench.

" hey Dora. Look at this " Marlene suddenly said and pulled a piece of folded paper from her pocket and handed it to her " your Re did it for us? Talented sod ain't he? "

_Your Re._

She tried not to let her cheeks burn at that. The paper showed a drawing of Marlene and Sirius. She smiled, running her hands over the lines. She'd always loved art, Charlie had never understood it. But she thought art was one of gods greatest gifts. But she liked the art Remus created in particular, he captured people so wonderfully.

" it's beautiful " she said and handed it back over to Marlene who looked at it lovingly.  
  
" you should drawn Dora, Re " Mary suggested.

" that's all he bloody draws just lately " Sirius said quietly with a small chuckle which earned him a kick from Remus under the table " oi! "

Dora remembered when he had shown her his sketch book and she had seen the many drawings he'd done of her. And all the drawings of his French girls. Suddenly she had an idea. A long dormant rebellious streak igniting inside her and for even closer to Remus, lowering her voice so only he would hear her.

" would you draw me again? From life this time? Not memory? " he turned to face her and nodded.

" course. Name a time and a place. Draw you any day " she giggled and raised her eyebrows a little

" what about... now? My cabin will be empty " something flashed over his eyes that appeared and disappeared too quickly for her to truly interpret and he gave a small nod.

" alright. Let's go "


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we are half way through!

Nymphadora was practically buzzing with anticipation and excitement as she and Remus snook back to her cabin. She was growing ever more cautious that someone was going to come looking for her soon. But dinner would be well under way now and no one would leave mid way through a meal. Andromeda had probably made up some excuse of Nymphadora feeling unwell to answer her absence at the table. Whilst planning the very detailed telling off she would give her daughter as soon as she found her.

She knew Charlie didn't care about her enough to go searching for her himself either, he'd go straight into the lounge after dinner to bathe in his glory with other men who thought they were masters of the universe. Cigars and whiskey would keep him far more entertained. Though he did like to know her whereabouts at all times, as soon as dinner was over she could expect Bill to start prowling the ship in search of her. But dinners in first class went on far longer than a regular dinner should. They had plenty of time she was certain.

" pretty fancy up here " Remus said as they walked along the practically empty corridor, running his hands over Crystal door knobs as they went " never been in a first class room. Fancy is it? " Remus asked as she unlocked the door and peaked inside.

" it's all very proper I assure you " She held up her hand to stop him and took a moment to make sure no one else was inside. She didn't expect there to be. But it was worth the check. That was all she needed, for Charlie or her mother to see her bringing Remus back to the cabin " mother? Charlie?... Penny? " when she got no response she turned back to Remus, gesturing for him to follow her into the room " alright, no ones here " Remus whistled as he stepped in side, looking around with his eyebrows raised.

" nice place "

" this is the living room, bedroom is though there, bathroom...Will this lighting be good? In here I mean? " She turned to look at Remus who was glancing around the room in awe, picking up little trinkets from above the fireplace " Remus? "

" what? " he asked, as if pulled from a daydream.

" artists need good lighting right? " Remus chuckled and ran his finger along the mantle, frowning at the dust she knew wasn't actually there.

" That they do. But I'm not used to working in such terrible conditions" she giggled and rolled her eyes " oh, this you? " he asked and nodded towards the picture on the mantle that Andromeda liked to carry around everywhere they went as well as a picture of Ted. She personally hated the painting of herself, she looked too pristine. Too perfect. Like a doll sat waiting to be posed and sold.

She didn't need anymore drawings of herself like that.

" yes. That particular painting is the one that was sent to Charlie actually. I can't stand it " she said, walking over to him with a small sigh.

" you don't look happy " she didn't. She wasn't " you gonna look happy in my drawing huh? " she smiled and nodded, clasping his hands in hers. Her heart was pounding in her chest because of what she was about to ask him. For all she know he might decline. She hoped he wouldn't.

" I have a special request for my drawing from you actually. If that's okay of course " she asked, bringing her face close to his. One of his hands escaped hers, lifting to cup her cheek and pull her in so that their lips brushed when he spoke.

" you do? "

" I do "

" anything you want... your wish is my command " he said softly, his eyes falling closed as he pressed his lips to hers. She couldn't help but kiss him back, it was addicting. He was addicting " you want the stars I'll get you the stars " he whispered in between kisses " you want the moon? I'll get you the moon "

She truly felt he was being serious. He seemed willing to do anything for her. She got the feeling he would spend his last penny on her if she asked, give his last breath to her, bleed himself dry for her. It was an intense feeling, but one she was almost getting high off. Her insides buzzing with the feeling that someone could care so deeply for her. That she could feel the exact same in return.

" my requests are much simpler " she said when she finally willed herself to pull away, cautious of their time constraints " come on, let me show you" she pulled Remus through into the next room where Charlie's hideous safe sat on the counter. She fumbled around with the combination before pulling out the black box that held her necklace.

" what you got there? " she stood beside him and opened up the box, the overwhelming diamond staring back at them both" holy shit " He said with almost a laugh, his finger brushing over the giant stone " is it a sapphire? "

" Diamond. A very rare diamond " he picked it up, holding it up to his face and shaking his head in awe

" christ "

" it's called La Coeur de la Mer "

" heart of the sea? Heart of the ocean? "

" yes that's right " he gently placed the necklace back into the box then as if worried he'd break it if he held it any longer. She looked at it sat in its box. Almost as if it were taunting her, almost daring her to go ahead with what she had planned. To defile that dog collar of a necklace, remove its purpose of ownership from her. So that Charlie may never look at it again without thinking of how she had escaped him " it's overwhelming isn't it. As if you needn't wear anything else with it " Remus chuckled and shrugged.

" I guess so " her fingers touched the stone, the diamond cold under her finger tips. A heart of ice. The most perfect gift from a man who's own heart was just as cold.

" Remus... I want you to draw me like one of your French girls, not like that painting in there. I don't want to look like that perfectly poised doll in a frame... I want you to draw me like you draw the others. Wearing this " he nodded and picked up the necklace again, getting another good look at it, holding it up to the light and shaking his head in a slight sense of awe still.

" alright. That's alright "

" only this " his head whipped around towards her, shock evident on his face. Seemingly now understanding which of his french girls she had been referring to, almost dropping the necklace to the floor in the process.

" are you- you're sure? Dora " she nodded. She'd never been quite so sure about anything. She needed the adrenaline rush she was certain it would give her, the final act of rebellion she had left. A parting gift to Charlie, so that he might finally see what he had been trying to coax her into his bed to see for weeks. But never have the true satisfaction of seeing it for real.

" yes. Absolutely. No one will be back here for a while.... Would you? " Remus still seemed a little shocked but nodded, handing her the necklace.

" I- yeah. Yeah that's fine. Do you wanna er. Well. Get ready? I'll just- " he headed back into the living room, fumbling slightly with his words and she couldn't help but smile at how flustered he had become. She heard shuffling around in the living room and she picked up her necklace again, the jewel heavy in her hands. Her decadent shackles to Charlie. She would cut those shackles off tonight. She would be free tonight.

She got undressed in a hurry, wrapping herself in her robe before sitting down at her dresser and putting on the necklace. She felt as if she were about to defile the priceless piece of jewellery, she knew that Charlie wouldn't ever be able to look at it again without thinking of her. And the embarrassment, the kick to his pride, that she would cause him with it. She'd never been more excited in her life.

She pulled all her pins from her hair and let it fall in all its wild glory around her shoulders. Nerves started to prickle at her insides quite quickly though when she realised she'd never shown herself so vulnerable to a man before. Let alone one she'd known for less than a week.

But she trusted Remus. Which was terrifying honestly, that she could trust him with her life after such a short time. But she did.

He listened. He understood. He treated her as his equal, saw past her wealth and looked inside. He was her escape.

So she stood up from her dresser and headed for the door. Her hand hesitated on the handle for a moment before taking a deep breath and opening the door.

Remus had moved some of the furniture around, the sofa now situated in front of where Remus was sat on one of the armchairs. He had dragged one of the tea tables beside him and had his sketch pad and pencils all laid out. He was sharpening one of his pencils, almost slicing his finger instead when he looked up and saw her in the doorway.

He opened his mouth a couple of times to say something but no words seemed to come out and he nervously ran a hand through his hair. No one had ever looked at her like that before.

" the last thing I need is another portrait of me looking like a doll " she said softly as she held onto the sash keeping her robe closed, walking over to him and placing a coin down on the table " and as a paying customer I expect to get what I want " Remus nodded and watched her carefully as she took a deep breath and let the robe slip from her shoulders. She saw Remus swallow thickly at the sight of her, his Adam's apple bobbing almost comically in his throat.

He couldn't seem to decide whether he should look or not and stuttered on his breath as he pointed towards the sofa that he had moved into the centre of the room. She wondered if had been so flustered with his french girls.

" on- on their. Lay on their for me. Please " she lay down and he instructed her on how to position her body in the way he wanted and Remus took a deep breath himself, seemingly slipping into his more professional manner " keep your eyes on me. And try stay still yeah? " and he got to work.

Her heart was hammering as she lay there watching him work, his eyes flicking up between her and his paper, his pencil gliding over his page and flicking his head occasionally as his hair fell into his eyes. He didn't seem as nervous as he worked, ever the professional. His face had gone serious. Concentrated. Determined. Like he was trying to do the best drawing he had ever done.

He never let his eyes linger on her too long, anytime he had to look up his cheeks would tinge pink with blush. But his face remained serious, professional as if he was trying to ignore the way his cheeks were burning.

" sooo serious " she teased, making a smile pull at his lips as he worked.

" hey relax your face you " he said in a fake stern voice, the smile still on his face.

" sorry " she said with a giggle and forced herself not to smile again.

She wasn't exactly sure how long she lay there, it felt like an eternity and a second all at the same time. But she felt as if she could have laid there for hours more. It was liberating. She was exposed, vulnerable. Yet she felt as if she had all the power in that room, she was the one in control. She doubted she would have felt the same if she had been completely naked before Charlie. Remus actually had respect for her.

She was desperate to see her portrait when he announced he was done and she got up, rolling her neck slightly and pulled her robe back around her. She walked over to Remus, standing behind his chair to get a look.

" like it? " he asked, brushing some lead shavings out of the way. She'd never seen herself drawn in such a way ever. It was marvellous. She looked marvellous. She didn't know she could look like that. She leant her head down to be close to his, dying for a closer look and tracing her fingers over the lines.

" Remus it's wonderful " she ran her finger over the lines of the necklace. He had captured it well. There was no mistaking what it was. That decadent dog collar hanging around her neck, forever keeping her leashed to Charlie. But trapped inside a drawing. If Charlie so badly wanted her body, wanted her under lock and key for the rest of her life. Now he could. For he had his own little Nymphadora trapped in paper and lead for eternity. Whilst she would run free.

" you made me look beautiful " she said and lifted her fingers from the paper.

" Told me yourself that I see people didn't you? I just draw what I see " she couldn't help the smile pulling at her lips as she brushed her nose against his cheek, bringing a hand around to turn his head to face her. His lips brushed against hers, his eyes falling shut before she'd even kissed him

" I love it. Thank you " she whispered, finally kissing him. His hand came up into her hair, grabbing at her curls and pulling her closer. They seemed to get a little too carried away and she almost went toppling over the back of the armchair, breaking their kiss with a giggle. She caught a glance at the clock on the mantle and saw dinner would be over any minute now " I should get dressed, dinner is almost over we should get out of here... come help me? "

He nodded and stood up, taking her hand and following her through into the bedroom again. She held up her hair and he helped her to unclasp the necklace. It felt almost symbolic. Her shackle was gone and Remus was the one removing it. She handed him the box and asked him to return it to the safe as she got herself dressed again, not even bothering to make an attempt to relace herself into her corset. She added that to her list of rebellious things she had done that day.

As she slipped her shoes on and stood in front of the mirror Remus came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her and resting his chin on her shoulder.

" you look nice " she smiled and turned her head to kiss him again, only to feel his hands sliding over hers and she looked down at the engagement ring still sat on her finger " you okay? " her final shackle. She twisted it around her finger and suddenly had an idea. She pulled out his embrace and grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil from Remus' things and started writing.

' _Darling, now you can keep us both locked in your safe '_

she folded it over and reached over for her drawing, the necklace hanging around her bare neck. She headed for the safe, tucking both the note and the drawing beside the jewellery box. She then looked down at her ring again and slid it from her finger, placing it a top of a stack of money as her crowning glory. Her last stand against Charlie and her last shackle breaking open. She was breaking free now.

" Dora " she turned to Remus with a smile and shut the safe door, locking the old her inside. The version of herself that was trapped. That was destined for entrapment and modern day slavery in the form of a marriage. The old her that had no confidence, no power. She was free now.

" I'm okay. I'm absolutely wonderful " Remus picked up her hand and placed a kiss to the red indent on her finger where her ring had sat.

" didn't really suit you anyway " she laughed and stood up on her tip toes to kiss him only to startle as there was a knock on the door.

" Miss Tonks? "

" it's Bill " she hissed and grabbed Remus' hand and looked around frantically for their best exit. Of course Charlie would have sent his little lackey after her sooner or later. She was surprised he had waited this long actually.

" what do we do love? " he had a look of mild panic on his face at the idea that they very much were about to be caught together again. After all, the very first time he had been arrested. She couldn't blame him.

" come on. This way. Quietly " she pulled him through the living room and out of the side door that Penny often used, closing it just as she heard the front door to her cabin open.

" that was close " Remus chuckled only to stop as they both heard the side door open and Bill appeared in the hall. His face twisted into annoyance at the sight of Remus, but it changed very quickly and he looked very much like the cat that had got the cream. She knew he couldn't wait to drag her back to Charlie and tell her she'd been with Remus. Even after she'd promised she'd not see him again.

They stood for a few moments almost waiting for the other to make a move, before she squeezed Remus' hand tighter and spun on her heel. She yanked at his hand and started running down the hall.

" run! " Remus laughed, running beside her and quickly taking the lead. He pulled her though the maze of corridors, getting dozens of disapproving looks from first class passengers as they did. She turned her head and saw Bill wasn't far behind them " he's coming! " they turned a corner and charged down the stairs to the lower decks, pausing for a moment when they reached the bottom of the service corridor and almost crashed into a steward with a tray of silverware.

She leant back against the wall to catch her breath and couldn't help but laugh. She probably looked quite mad, but she didn't even care.

" pretty tough for a bloody valet. Acts like a damn cop " Remus said, peeking through the small window in the door to see if he was still following them.

" I think he was, Charlie's father hired him to keep Charlie out of trouble and then Charlie enlisted him to keep a close eye on me " she wondered if Charlie would send Bill after her when she ran away as they docked. Good luck to him trying to find her in a city so large.

" You need keeping out of trouble too do you huh? " she leant her head back against the wall and gave a small shrug, looking across at Remus who has raised an eyebrow at her. It made her heart flutter.

" maybe. I have a tendency to wander apparently " Remus smirked and reached across the narrow corridor, grabbing her hands and pulling her close.

" oh like now? " he tucked his fingers under her chin, tilting her face up to kiss him. But before he could he paused, seemingly seeing something over her shoulder. She turned her head to see Bill through the window and she grabbed onto Remus' hands again.

" go go! " they charged down the corridor, Nymphadora silently begging her clumsy feet wouldnt fail her and send her sprawling across the carpet. They'd definitely be caught then. Bill was showing no signs of letting up and Remus pulled her through the closest door, locking it behind them.

It was insanely noisy inside the tiny room, a hatch in the floor seemed to be glowing. Smoke seeping out of it and into the room. A sign on the ladder said it lead to the boiler rooms. Well now they really were done for. They had no where to go. She knew how determined Bill could be. He'd probably wait for hours for them to come out. Or just find a steward to unlock the door.

" now what?! " she called over the racket, clamping her hands over her ears to try and block out the noise. Bill started hammering on the door and Remus looked around frantically nodding towards the ladder.

" c'mon! " He climbed down before she could protest and she realised she had no choice but to follow him. That or stay there and be caught by Bill.

She held up the skirt of her dress in one hand as she climbed down the ladder too, the noise growing even louder. Remus grabbed a hold of her waist when she was a few rungs from the floor, helping her down. It was unbelievably hot down in the boiler rooms, even noisier than it had been upstairs too.

" oi! What you two doing down here? Passengers aren't allowed down here! It's dangerous! " Remus grabbed her hand and they were running again. Dodging workmen and jumping over piles of coal, her heart was racing. She didn't know if it was from pure adrenaline or excitement or simply because she was out of breath. Maybe it was all three.

" you're doing a great job guys! Keep up the good work! " Remus yelled as they ran past workers that all gave them confused looks as to why there were two passengers running around the boiler rooms. They ducked behind some structure that she didn't have the slightest idea what it was, hiding as the man who had yelled at them ran past. Seemingly losing them in the smoke and the steam.

" where were we huh? " she smiled as Remus grabbed her hands again, pulling her close. He seemed hesitant to kiss her, his lips brushing over hers, but she slipped a hand into the hair at the nape of his neck and pulled him in. She could feel something in her chest, building and building. She couldn't pin point what it was exactly but she'd never felt it before. It only grew the more he kissed her, the tighter his arms wrapped around her waist, the way his mouth coaxed open her own.

She might as well have fallen through the steel beneath her and into the Atlantic. Because she was drowning. Losing herself in him and the feelings he gave her. The freedom he gave her.

" there you are! Get out! Both of you! Come on! " the workman was back and she took one look at Remus' dazed face and grabbed his hand. Laughing as she pulled him away and they were running again.

" down there! Look, the way out! " she spotted a door up ahead with 'CARGO HOLD' on the door and guessed that was their best chance of getting out of the boiler rooms. They ran towards the door, Remus holding it open for her to slip through and followed right behind her.

She pushed her slightly damp hair away from her face and looked around the dimly lit cargo hold they'd wandered into, trying to catch her breath again.

" that should keep old Bill out for a little bit. The worker too " she turned as Remus spoke and saw him shoving a crate in front of the door. She smiled and leant back a stack of wooden crates herself, closing her eyes for a moment and steadying her breathing. She felt exhilarated. Was this how a life with Remus would feel?

She craved an existence like that. With her eyes closed she could see herself running with Remus along streets from a cafe owner they hadn't paid, or dashing through the waves on the beach, a new country every month. Living from place to place with no roots to keep them down. Just the two of them. That's all they needed.

" you alright? " she kept her eyes closed as she felt his hands slide over her waist, standing close to her. She quite liked when he invaded her space like that. Charlie did it sometimes, would crowd himself behind her when they were alone or get in her space without her permission. She hated it when he did it. But she quite liked Remus doing it. She wanted to keep him there, constantly wanted him in her space. Always there. Always close " Dora? "

" mhm " she opened her eyes lifted a hand to his face, pushing his hair back and running her fingers through it. She was mildly cautious of how long it would be until Bill found out where they'd got to and she gave a small sigh before pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, slipping out of his embrace and looking around.

" never been in a car before " She heard Remus say from behind her as they walked around the hold. He was running his hand over the bonnet with a small smile.

" oh ours is in here somewhere... " she rounded a couple of other cars until she spotted hers. Well. Charlie's. In the corner " here we are "

" nicee " she smiled watching him look at the car and then nodded towards the door, clearing her throat " oh my apologies ma'am " he said in a mildly bad attempt at an upper class accent and opened the door for her with a bow. 

" why thank you kind sir " she climbed into the seat and watched as Remus clambered up onto the drivers bench. The car still smelt like Charlie. She didn't like it. It was strange to think that less than a week ago she was sat on that same seat with Charlie beside her. Never having met Remus. Not knowing she would meet the man currently in front of her and how much he would change her life.

She thought back to her note inside the safe with her drawing. And necklace. The version of her that had sat in that car before was locked away in that safe too now. She almost wished she could be a fly on the wall to see him open that safe. To read her note. To see her magnificent drawing and that necklace hanging around the throat of the body that he had wanted to be the first and only to touch. He wouldn't be.

" where to then miss? " Remus said from the drivers bench, sitting up straight and playing with the steering wheel like a child. She moved forward and pulled down the screen separating them, placing her hands on his shoulders and her mouth close to his ear.

" take me to the stars.... to the moon and back " she then pulled at his arms, pulling him into the back seat with her with a laugh that he joyfully returned. He sat with her on the leather seat, an arm slinking around her waist to keep her close. His other hand was playing idly with hers, his eyes not tearing away from her gaze for even a moment.

Her heart was racing again, so loud she was almost paranoid he might be able to hear it. That feeling was there again. Like something building between them. Like a pressure almost, gradually growing and growing and eventually set to burst.

" it's quiet in here isn't it " she said softly, not sure how else to break their silence " feels like it's only us on this entire ship " he smiled softly and gave a small nod, his fingers now linking with hers. Their hands fit oh so perfectly together.

" it can be only us.... down here it's only us. No Bill. No Charlie..... just me and you " his voice was as soft as her own almost as if neither really wanted to break the silence. As if that might break their bubble of isolation they had found themselves in.

" I want it to be me and you always. I don't want anybody else. I don't need anybody else Remus " she moved her hand from Remus' grasp and reached up brush his hair from his forehead. Tracing her fingers down over his cheekbones, his nose, his lips. She wanted to commit every part of him to memory. Just in case.

She trailed her fingers over the side of his neck, certain she could feel his pulse drumming wildly beneath her fingertips. He was just as nervous as she it seemed. She couldn't help but wonder if he was thinking the same as her. Was feeling that pressure growing and growing.

Was wanting her to touch him as badly as she was wanting him to touch her.

She ran the collar of his shirt between her fingers, their faces suddenly close again. She could feel his shaking breath on her cheek. He must be thinking the same.

" are you nervous " Remus asked after a moment and she lifted her face slightly, their noses bumping.

" no " she whispered, shaking her head slightly. She was a little in all honesty. But she realised that she was not even remotely close to the panicked state she would work herself into thinking about being in such a position with Charlie sometimes. Because Remus made her feel safe. He cared for her. He loved her, she was quite certain " kiss me again "

He did so without a moments hesitation, almost as if he had wanted to kiss her again for a while now but hadn't dared to without her permission. She pulled him closer by the collar of his shirt that was still in her hands, almost desperate to have him close incase he might vanish at any moment.

He kissed her until she was as breathless as she had been running though the corridors with him and her nerves had all but vanished. He looked at her with questioning in his eyes. He always waited for her permission for anything. Was their no faults to this man? His hand was a little restless on her waist and she gave him a small smile.

" you can touch me .... put your hands on me it's okay " she said, her voice still low and soft. She held one of his hands in both of hers, pressing soft kisses to his fingertips before guiding his hand towards her. She placed it on her chest and gave him a small nod, as if to reassure him even more " it's okay. You can.... I want you to "

He seemed hesitant at first but soon grabbed softly at her body, letting his hands wonder as their lips continued to move oh so perfectly together. Her heart was still racing, so much that it was almost dizzying. She had no idea what she was doing but she got the impression that neither did he. His hands were clumsy as they fumbled with the back of her dress.

He eventually managed to get it over her head with a laugh, a giggle bubbling from her own lips. His lips met hers again almost instantly, like she had become his air source and he desperately needed to breathe.

He lay her down on the cool leather of the seats, making her gasp softly into his mouth as the cold touched her skin. He took the opportunity of her open mouth to deepen their kiss, his tongue doing things with hers that sent her dizzy again.

He was gentle with her, almost too gentle as if he was afraid she might snap into a million pieces beneath him as he rocked into her. She knew they could be caught at any moment, but it only made the entire thing all the more exciting. She didn't care. She felt indestructible. Untouchable. Like no one could burst that bubble that she and Remus had created for themselves. No one else mattered. Only them.

He held onto her, kissing every part of her that he could reach as her back arched off the seats, her head tilting back and stifling her moans into the back of her hand, his mouth. He constantly asked if she was okay, never doing anything without asking her about it first.

When it was over they lay together in silence for a few moments, breathing heavily, their hair sticking to their foreheads with sweat but the happiest either of them had ever been in their lifetimes.

" you're trembling " she said softly, brushing the backs of her fingers along his cheek.

" so are you " she smiled and gave a little nod, realising she was. She leant up and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek as he brought his head down to rest on her chest. She slipped her hand into his hair, keeping him close and lay watching a droplet of condensation roll down the window.

It was in that moment that she realised she had subconsciously made her final choice on what she was going to do when the ship docked. She wouldn't leave with her mother and Charlie, all her expensive things. She was going to leave with Remus.

There was nothing on the planet that she wanted more than to be with him. Her heart ached at the thought of being even a few feet away from him. She wanted to be around him constantly. Forever. She didn't need money, big houses, expensive dresses and glittering jewels. She needed Remus. Freedom. Happiness. To make every day count.

She felt as though she were just dropping off into sleep when she thought she heard something. She pushed herself up onto her elbows as she was certain she could hear muffled voices.

" Remus- " the door handle was shaking then, someone knocking against it to try shift the crate that Remus had placed there. They were about to be caught. Even if they couldn't shift the box they'd simply head for the other door.

" c'mon love we gotta go " he hastily grabbed her clothes from the floor and helped her back into them, trying to button his shirt at the same time. He helped her out of the car with his hands on her waist, her legs a little wobblier than normal. The windows were fogged with condensation and she'd left a hand print in the glass, it was clear as day what had happened in that car. She found that she quite hoped Charlie would see it. Another one of his beloved things defiled by longing for her that was just out of his grasp. Taunting him almost.

He had wanted her like that for so long. To claim her fully and completely as his. To take her innocence and purity for himself as a trophy. But it wasn't his to take. It had been hers to control, hers to give away to whomever she saw fit. She wasn't his property. She was a woman, a real human being with a brain to think for herself and a mouth to speak those thoughts as she created them. And a heart that beat true and strong. But it did not beat for Charlie Weasley. It never would. For her heart had made its choice.

It beat for Remus Lupin. And she was quite certain it always would.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its that time ladies and gents...

The cold night air took Nymphadora by surprise as she hurried out onto the deck with Remus, laughing like a mad women after barely getting out of the cargo hold on time.

" did you see their faces? " Remus laughed , a hand on his chest as he tried to catch his breath again.

Nymphadoras cheeks were aching from smiling so much, she hadn't laughed so much... ever. She felt practically ready to burst at the amount of happiness that was bubbling up inside of her.

_This is what freedom feels like_ _._

She tipped her head back and looked up at the night sky, the stars twinkling down on her. It was so vast, it made her feel unbelievably small.

Charlie and the entirety of that upper class crowd felt as if they were so important. So big. But they weren't. They were tiny. Minuscule. Tiny little specs on the earth, only important in their own little stories going on. She kind of liked that feeling, being small. Like one grain of sand on the beach. Not important, her existence didn't truly effect anyone else. She could go around unnoticed, do as she pleased and it wouldn't effect anyone else.

" c'mere you, it's freezing " Remus said, pulling her into his embrace and wrapping her inside his coat with him. She brought her hands up to gently hold his face, almost to reassure herself he was real. He was there. This wasn't some horridly vivid dream that she was about to wake up from any second. It was happening. She was there in his arms, with a face that ached from laughter and a heart that was pounding with nothing but pure love and adoration for him.

She guessed some people would call her foolish. She had known him for less than a week, yet she was so unbelievably certain that this was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. She loved him. She did. How different was this than how things were done in the upper class families anyway? They were paired off and married as fast. Sometimes the pairs wording even meet until the day before they wed. At least she actually had some love for the man she was planning a future with in her head.

" what are you thinking about love? You look mikes away... where've you got to aye? " Remus softly and tapped her forehead with his finger.

" a lot of things " He was gazing down at her in the way he always had done. With complete and utter adoration, a love for her that didn't need to be spoken out loud to be known. She'd always wanted that. Always. She'd almost accepted she'd never actually get it, but here she was. And here he was. He didn't want her for her money. Or her name. Or her yacht party invitations or balls with royalty. He wanted her simply for _her._

" such as? "

" my crowd... they think they're giants. They think they rule the world, always trying to be seen... but they're nothing really. They're so small, so unimportant... I like being small. I don't want people to see me and wish to be me and be envious of my wealth or my dress " he smiled a little and nodded, simply listening to her talk. She'd always wanted someone to just..... listen " I'm quite content with being small. Unnoticed. Living my life without prying eyes on me at every minute of the day. One pair of eyes is all I need "

Remus would give that life to her. Would live it alongside her. Just the two of them. Always just the two of them. No Bill. No Charlie. No overbearing mother. No in-laws. Just Remus. Only Remus.

" can't ever take my eyes off you anyway so you don't have to worry about that one " she laughed and realised how true that was. She always caught him watching her, awkward gazing at her with the look of a child seeing a candy's store for the first time. A look that said he was truly amazed by the person in front of him, a look that said he loved her.

Charlie always watched her she guessed. But not in the same way. His was controlling. Wanting to know her every movement. Every breath. Where she was. Who she spoke to. He never truly _looked_ at her. Remus did though.

She had been quite certain all evening that her mind had made its choice on what she would do when they docked in New York. But now there was truly no competition in her choices. Not a single slither of doubt left in her.

She would not leave the Titanic in her expensive travelling coat, Penny scurrying around behind her to make sure all her piles of luggage where following. She wouldn't be ushered into Charlie's car, wouldn't have to sit beside him and start thinking about her ever looming nuptials, wouldn't have that ghastly ring shoved back onto her finger whilst speaking a thousand apologies for her moment of madness in removing it.

She was going to get off with Remus. With whatever clothes she had on her back and not much else. Because she didn't need anything else. She didn't.

" Remus " she said softly, deciding that now was a good a time as any to tell him her plans for when they reached New York. Silently begging him to accept her wishes. Though in her heart she already knew he would " when we dock in New York... I'm getting off with you. Not my mother. Not Charlie.... you " his face broke out into the biggest smile and he brought his forehead down to hers, closing his eyes for a moment and laughing.

" Dora this is crazy... I have nothing to give you. I don't have any money. I don't have a place to stay I- christ " he was still smiling. Like he couldn't believe what she had said. He probably couldn't. If was brash. Crazy. But it's what she wanted.

" I know. It doesn't make any sense... that's why I trust it " he twisted one of her curls around his finger, looking her in the eye with that same look of adoration. She knew it was crazy. But she also knew she was never going to regret her decision. Ever. It was what she wanted. What she needed " I love you. I do. I want to spend the rest of my life with you... I dont need money. I don't. Just you, it's you and me right? "

" right " he kissed her then, wrapping her tighter in his coat to get her as close as he could. She didn't even care if Bill appeared now, found where they had run off to. She felt invincible in Remus' arms, they could damn lock her in the cabin for the rest of her trip if they wanted. It wouldn't change her mind. Nothing could. She would still find a way to run. She would never stop finding a way until she was back in Remus Lupins arms.

She wasn't entirely sure how she was going to hide away from her mother and Charlie for 3 more days. But she'd plan that through later, right now she just wanted to stay there in Remus' embrace and kiss him until she couldn't breathe.

" for the record.. I love you too " he said softly against her lips when they pulled apart for air, his eyes still closed " but don't go telling Sirius that. Smug bastard won't let me live it down " she laughed and kissed him again, her arms looping around his neck.

" how wild, mr anti love has fallen " Remus rolled his eyes but he was smiling at her still.

" tell Sirius and I'll toss you overboard " she scoffed and raised an eyebrow at him.

" oh you will? "

" I will. Yeah, wanna try me ? " he held her around the waist and carried her towards the rails. She squealed a laugh, flailing around in his arms " wanna go for a swim huh? "

" Remus! " her cheeks were hurting she was laughing so much as he kept chuckling and threatening to throw her over, pressing his face into her neck and her shoulder.

Her mother would faint if she saw her now. The _indecency_ , the _nerve_ to be behaving so improper. How dare she show affection in public.

She wiggled out of his grasp and ran back across the deck, he easily caught up with her grabbing her back around the waist and holding her tight in his arms.

" not in the mood for a swim then? " he pressed a kiss to her shoulder and she turned in his arms again, rubbing a hand at her cheek that was aching from laughing too much " y'know when we go to those piers... like I told you? We'll swim in the sea at the beach. It'll be much warmer... hopefully warmer than Brighton. Pretty cold too actually "

" I'm holding you to that " she said with a smile and ran her hand through his hair " Charlie would have never let me do something like that " his face softened slightly at the mention of Charlie and he looked at her with a mix of pity and sympathy. He seemed to be debating with himself on asking her something, his eyes scanning her face.

" he hurt you... didn't he? " Remus asked quietly, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek. She closed her eyes and leant into his touch " I saw the way you looked at him. How he looks at you " she gave a small nod. Refusing to look in his eyes. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled her in close, her head resting on his chest " it's okay. You're free now. He can't hurt you anymore... I'll never hurt you. You know that "

" I know " she couldn't ever imagine Remus raising his hand to her in the way Charlie did " I love you " She gently pulled his head down to hers and kissed him again for what felt like the millionth time that night.

It didn't last very long though as the ship seemed to be shaking. Shuddering in a way that reminded her of an earth quake. A deep rumbling that seemed to be growing stronger and louder by the second.

She pulled away from the kiss, keeping her hands planted on Remus' shoulders to keep her steady as the shaking grew stronger.

" what on earth- "

There was an ear splitting sound of scraping metal, like a thousand knifes being dragged along a chalkboard.

The ship shook so violently that she would have fallen if Remus hadn't had such a tight grip on her. She turned her head and he pulled her back as a huge iceberg passed the ship, large chunks of ice falling off and crashing onto the deck.

" shit get back! " the shuddering stopped as the iceberg passed out of sight and she hurried over to the edge, peering over the side.

Had they hit the iceberg?

Thy must have. If not what had been the sound? The shudder?

" did we hit it? " she asked, looking to Remus who was close by her side in a second.

" think so " he too was peering over the edge into the water below but it was far too dark to see anything. There was only the water, a shade of inky black that she couldn't believe she had ever found inviting.

" do you think it could have damaged the ship? " her mind was suddenly spinning with all her seemingly forgotten fears of sinking ships and she reached for his hand " Remus- what if- "

" hey, hey. C'mere. Relax alright. It's fine. Unsinkable ship remember? Bit of ice won't do any harm " he pulled her back into his arms and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Of course. Unsinkable. They'd be fine. They would. She was over reacting " c'mon let's go inside its freezing out here. Can sleep in my cabin tonight if you want? Beds a bit small and Sirius snores like a dog but we'll manage " she gave a nod and accepted a kiss on her cheek, taking his hand and following him as he lead her off the deck that was littered with ice.

Though she couldn't help looking behind her at where the chunks of ice still lay littering the deck. They had definitely hit it, there was no other explanation.

A few people were surfacing on the decks, seemingly trying to see what the racket had been about. She tried not to get into a panic, it was an unsinkable ship after all. A little bit of ice couldn't do much damage to it surely. She tried to focus on the positive. The thought of sharing a bed with Remus, even if there would be others in the room with them.

Bill and Charlie would never think to look for her there, they'd never even guess she'd go to sleep in another mans bed. In third class of all places. She'd be safe there.

Remus kept a hold on her hand as they climbed the steps to leave the deck. As they did the captain headed towards them flanked by several stewards, they were walking quickly. Hurrying past them and talking in worried whispers.

" - no sir. It's completely taken the cargo hold now. Almost the entire lowest deck is flooded. Spilling higher by the second sir " she froze as they headed down the stairs that she and Remus had just climbed.

The ship was flooding. It was _flooding._ An unsinkable ship couldn't flood. Surely.

" this is bad " Remus said softly, his grip on her hand growing tighter and all her calm thoughts that maybe they'd be okay fleeing her head.

" Remus " she turned to him and her heart dropped to see he too looked nervous now. His face stricken " we have to tell my mother... and Charlie " she didn't want to see them again. But this was a potentially dangerous situation and she didn't exactly want them hurt. Or worse. They needed to know. Remus nodded, still gripping tightly to her hand. He was trying to be brave for her. Strong.

" should try find Sirius and Marlene too, James and Mary maybe. Get em off the lower decks "

" yes of course "

" let's go to your folks first. They're closer " Remus stopped as she tried to walk off though and grabbed her other hand " it's gonna be okay y'know. It is. Probably just overreacting. I read in the paper that it can flood so much and still float, that's why it's unsinkable you know. It'll be fine " he didn't sound completely confident in his words but she didn't point it out.

She simply nodded and accepted the kiss to her cheek before turning and leading him through the first class door, down the corridor they had walked along only hours before. But in no way as happy as they had been then. Her nerves there but for a completely different reason now. It wasn't as empty as it had been earlier either, those that didn't like to spend the majority of their night chatting in the dining hall coming out of their rooms to see what was going on.

She was surprised to see that her cabin door was open and Bill was waiting outside. He looked throughly smug in the same way he always did. Like he knew something that she didn't. It made her feel uneasy and she walked a little closer to Remus if not for her own nerves but his.

" ah. We've been looking for you Miss " he gestured for them to go into the cabin, coming up behind them and shutting the door as they entered the room. Charlie was stood with an annoyed look on his face, her mother was there too. She too looked miserable as ever and somewhat... bored? She frowned a little, wondering why they were back at all. They'd normally still be indulging in their after dinner drinking with their friends.

" we have an emergency " Nymphadora said as she looked between her mother and Charlie, still gripping tightly to Remus' hand. She still hadn't completely figured out what she was going to tell them in regards to Remus, after all they weren't due to dock in New York for 3 more days. But then again, after what she had heard she wasn't sure they would even make it to New York.

She hoped that wasn't true.

" yes. We do. Two things dear to me went missing tonight.. now one is back. Let's find the other shall we? Ah you're here " she gave him a strange look and took a step towards him as the master of arms and a steward entered the room.

Was that why her mother seemed miserable too? Had something happened?

Whatever it was she was sure it could wait. There were much more important things to be talking about.

" Charlie a real emergency is happening, the ship- "

" search him " Charlie said, ignoring her as usual and pointing towards Remus who was pulled away from her. She looked on in confusion as he was patted down by the steward, stripped of his coat and his pockets turned outwards.

" what'd I do now? Hey, watch it "

" what on earth is going on? Charlie what are you doing? Hey, leave him alone" she took a step back towards Remus but Charlie gripped at her arm to keep her back.

_He can't hurt you anymore_

Remus noticed her flinch and his face twisted into anger, trying to take a step towards her but was held back.

" get your hands off her, don't you touch her " Charlie simply scoffed at that, looking him up and down and simply holding onto her tighter.

" do you hear this Andromeda? A common thief trying to tell me what I can and cannot do with my own fiancé " her mother laughed and Nymphadora turned to Charlie with a frown. _Thief?_

 _"_ thief? Charlie- "

" is this the necklace sir? " she froze as the steward searching Remus now stood with her necklace held in the air. The blue diamond glittering in the light of the room, she'd hoped she'd not have to see that again. How on earth had it gotten into Remus' pocket though? It had been in the safe. She had seen the box.

" what? No! I didn't take that. Real slick Charlie, Dora he must have slipped it in my pocket you know I'd never take it" Charlie took the necklace from the steward and shook his head, looking at Remus with the same disgust he had looked at him with since meeting him. Like he was nothing but something he had trodden in.

" yes Nymphadora. Thief " he said lowly, finally answering her.

She was certain she felt her heart strings snapping one by one inside her chest as Charlie stood quite proudly with the necklace in his hands, freshly plucked from the pocket of Remus' coat. Her mind felt scrambled all of a sudden, trying to piece together everything from the night to try and out together when he could have possibly taken it.

" but how... he's been with me the entire time I... "

" perhaps he took it whilst you were putting your clothes back _on_ dear " Charlie muttered and she felt her cheeks flushing with embarrassment. Her brow furrowed as she continued desperately to think when Remus could have possibly stolen it. He had barely left her side all evening, he didn't know the combination to the safe either.

Then she remembered, she had given him the box to store back in the safe after he had completed his drawing. She hadn't watched him put it back. Had simply trusted him to return it to the safe in its box. 

" Remus.. " she couldn't look at him, could do nothing but stare at the floor in confusion. She had never felt such an intense sense of betrayal in her life. She had trusted him. _Given_ herself to him.

She had often wondered how after so many of millions of years that human beings had walked the earth, living and adapting to their surroundings, they had not evolved enough to not feel the splintering pain of heartbreak. How had humans evolved so thoroughly yet left their hearts so delicate, so vulnerable that something as fickle as love may cause such a gut wrenching pain.

" Dora. Dora I didn't take it. You know me. You know I didn't. Dora look at me- please " she looked up as he was roughly placed into handcuffs, Charlie watching in simple amusement with that damned necklace clasped in his hands " Dora they must have slipped it in my pocket. You know I wouldn't do that. Dora "

" well it isn't even _your_ pocket is it sir? 'Property of Mr L Malfoy' this was reported stolen earlier today " the steward showed them the label stitched neatly inside the nape of the coat and she was quite certain she was going to be sick.

She wrapped her arms around herself. Earlier she had felt small, had relished in that feeling. Yet she felt small now, but in a wildly different way. She felt as if she were shrinking by the second, an ant about to be crushed under someone's boot.

" I borrowed it okay. That has nothing to do with the necklace. I was going to return it " she was so utterly confused it was dizzying and she had to grab a hold of the back of the sofa to stay balanced. But her hand shot away from it as she remembered how she lay there hours earlier for him. Given every ounce of trust to him only for him to betray her so brutally.

" oh we have an honest thief, do you hear that Andromeda? An honest thief! " Remus lurched forward towards her but was pulled straight back.

" you have to believe me Dora you have to. I didn't take it. They planted it Dora- Dora look at me. Dora-" he begged for her to look at him, believe him. She didn't know what she could believe now and what she couldn't. Had everything he'd said to her been a lie? Did he really love her? He couldn't possibly if he had done something so terrible.

" take him away gentleman " Charlie commanded, an almost bored tone in his voice and placed the necklace into his coat pocket.

" Dora! You have to believe me! I didn't take it- I didn't- Dora! "

" come on son don't make this anymore difficult for yourself " Charlie closed the door behind him as he was dragged from the room, but she could still hear him shouting down the corridor. How had she let herself be so foolish. Dora glanced up at Charlie who gave a small nod towards Bill, that silent communication that they constantly had that always told her he was up to something. No good.

He was trying to get her alone.

" well now that we have your belongings back where they are supposed to be-" he made a pointed look towards her as he spoke, because that what she was again now. She was back in her place by Charlie's side. Like a doll in a box. One of his belongings. His property. It made her stomach churn "-Andromeda shall we go for a drink? " Bill said and held his arm out for her which she happily took, looking rather bored with the entire situation.

" lovely idea, will you join us? "

" we'll be along in a minute. I'd like to have a word with Nymphadora first " Andromeda smiled and gave a small nod before heading out of the door with Bill. Nymphadora had never been fond of being alone in a room with Charlie. Especially when he was angry. And he was clearly very angry. She instantly took a step back from him.

" I thought better of you Nymphadora" he stepped towards her, closing the gap she had tried to create and towered over her. Remus was taller than her too- most people were- maybe even a inch or so more than Charlie was. But he had never intimidated her. Charlie did. Charlie terrified her " But here we are.... nothing but a fraud. A _slut_ for some commoner, yes? " before she could say anything in return his hand was connecting with her face, slapping her so hard that her neck cricked around the sudden movement.

Her eyes stung with tears as her cheek throbbed, her hand flying up to touch her burning skin.

It sent her hurtling back to reality, bursting the bubble she had placed herself in with Remus all evening. That all felt like a dream now. Like it had never really happened. Now she was simply awake, in a world where she was still engaged and Remus Lupin was a thief.

It left a bitter taste in her mouth. The taste of her freedom slipping through her fingers, powerless to stop it

" I told you not to see him again Nymphadora. But you don't listen do you? You never listen " he gripped onto her arms then, shaking her " look at me when I'm talking to you! " she looked up at him through the blurriness of her tears.

This was her life now. It always had been she guessed, but that taste of freedom she had had made the return all that more sour.

" I'm sorry " she whispered, deciding whether or not she should force her tears to stay in her eyes. But maybe he'd be easier on her if she cried. It had worked before. He rummaged in his pocket then and pulled out the engagement ring that she had left in the safe alongside her drawing and the necklace.... or necklace box.

" and this? "

" I'm sorry. I didn't know what I was thinking " she said, her voice still unable to reach any louder than a whisper as her fear over powered her.

" of course you didn't. You never do do you? " he grabbed her hand and pushed the ring back onto her finger. She felt like an escaped criminal who had been captured again, being thrust into handcuffs like Remus had been " I won't have you humiliate me. Remember your place "

" I'm sorry "

" you are below me and you always will be. I can make sure you have nothing. I can have you out in the streets, your mother too. Do _not_ humiliate me like this again or I will do just that. Do you understand me? " she actually thought for a moment how she would probably fare better on the streets. Anything but living with Charlie for the rest of her life. But her mother....

" Yes Charlie I understand " his grip on her was getting painful and her heart was getting faster in fear of what he'd actually do next.

Charlie opened his mouth to say something else but there was a knock on the door. She had to stop herself from sighing in relief.

" Mr Weasley? " came a voice from the other side of the door and another knock.

" we are busy! " the door opened anyway and a steward hurried into the room and pulled open one of the cupboards, rummaging around.

" sorry to inconvenience you sir. But captains orders for all passengers to put on their life belts " he pulled two from the cupboard and passed them over to them before pulling out the rest into his arms " and dress warmly, it's rather cold out tonight! " he left the room as quickly as he'd arrived. Her heart started pounding again, the sudden realisation that she was still stood on a possibly sinking ship hitting her like a tonne of bricks.

" what is all this about? " Charlie said and tossed his life belt to the floor in annoyance.

" exactly what I was trying to tell you. The boat struck an iceberg. We're sinking... I have to find my mother. Would you excuse me " Charlie reached out to grab her but she moved her arm from his reach, roughly wiping the tears from her face and headed for the door.

He was close behind her as he always was.

She found her mother arguing with a steward about why evening drinks were finished so early tonight, pushing away the life belt as he tried to get her to wear it.

To look around you wouldn't know she was stood on a sinking ship. People were going about their evenings as they had done only yesterday. Stewards were telling people not to panic, telling them it was probably nothing to worry about. But she had seen that iceberg after all. She had heard the captain.

" what the devil is going on around here son? " she heard Mollys voice cutting through the crowd as she talked to a steward who looked just as panicked as Nymphadora felt.

" I- I don't know I- it's probably just a propellor blade ma'am I- I'll go find out for you " he scurried up the stairs, slipping as he went.

They most definitely had not damaged a propellor blade. That wouldn't cause the cargo hold to flood.

She needed the truth.

She then spotted Mr dumbledore with a stricken look upon his face, passing out life belts himself. He was practically begging people to put them on, kneeling down to put one on a child himself.

" Mr Dumbledore! " she hurried over to him, reaching out to touch his arm " Mr Dumbledore sir.... I saw the iceberg. I see the look in your eyes. Tell me what's happening. Please " he looked as if debating to tell her or not, it only solidified her fears more. He didn't want to tell her, he didn't want to worry her. Scare her.

She felt sick again.

He placed a gentle hand to her shoulder and moved her to the side, away from close ear shot of anyone else. Charlie close behind her still.

" the ship will sink " he said gravely, his voice low as not to be heard by anyone else. She had known really. She had heard the captain. Seen the berg. But now she had pure, true conformation. Her heart was pounding in her chest, beating so fast it was almost painful.

" For certain? " she asked, her voice almost childlike with fear that she was trying to suppress.

" Yes. In an hour or so. Two at most... all of this will be at the bottom of the Atlantic " he gestured weakly to his surroundings, unable to meet her eye for even a second. _An hour_ " Don't panic. Please. Tell only who you need to, nothing good will come from mass panic. Get to a boat. Right now. Don't wait..... you remember what I told you about the boats don't you Nymphadora? "

_not enough. Not enough by half._

" yes "

" go now. Take your family, get to a boat Nymphadora " he squeezed her shoulder lightly before hurrying off up the stairs, telling people to put on their life jackets as he went. She felt confused. Scared. Her mind was a scattered mess of questions and thoughts that she couldn't figure out.

She didn't know if Remus had taken her necklace. She didn't know if he had simply lied to her this entire time. She didn't know why she felt as if her heart was being torn to shreds right in front of her eyes because of a boy she had known scarcely a week. She didn't know now if she would ever make it to America. But there was one thing she did know.

That she was quite certain.

The Titanic was going to sink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not a tremendously exiting chap i knowww but i really wanted it to end there. as always comments would be lovely and ill see you next monday!


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